Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Not a good week to be a Ricky

By this point you know what Ricky Manning Jr. likes to do at 3 a.m. For those of you who somehow missed this story, Manning and some buddies were in a Westwood, Calif. Denny's late at night and beat the shit out of some guy on his laptop.

We're not positive what dialogue transpired, but we're pretty sure that Manning said one of these two things to the Denny's' victim right before he wrecked him:

1. "We're gonna F5 your ass back to the days of the typewriter, you nerd-ass bitch."


2. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish, and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

We somehow think Manning said the latter.

Sticking with the famous Rickys, how about Ricky Williams? The Dolphins' running back lost his appeal with the NFL for violating the substance abuse policy and will be ineligible for the 2006 season. This is great news for Williams who just got himself an entire year to smoke/sell/distribute/inject/smuggle
weed/child pornography/shrooms/laundered money/PCP/Opium/Date Rape Drug.

We have the feeling that Williams will take the time to reflect on his wrong-doing over a few bong rips with some monks up in the Himalayas. Williams is surely upset, but hey, worse things could happen to a running back.


twins15 said...

You have to be a different kind of idiot to quit right in the middle of training camp after you test positive for marijuana, only to be welcomed back with open arms the next year, and then test positive again and be suspended for a year. It's really quite amusing.

Anonymous said...

Ricky Williams is a nigger