Monday, March 23, 2009

Where I have no idea how to talk to girls, Arizona makes it to the Sweet 16 and there's nobody here named Ray

OK, we're down to 16, there's no Cinderella, my pool is fucked like a Vietnamese masseuse and my rooting interests have been reduced to apathy and indifference.

But what fucking gets me the most is that Arizona is now among the 16 teams left still playing meaningful basketball. (Say what you will about the NIT, but don't kid yourself). The Wildcats were probably the most talented team in the Pac-10 this year with three future NBAers, yet didn't have any real business being in the tournament in the first place. But they got a great draw, playing an over-seeded Utah team and then lucking out by getting Cleveland State rather than Wake in the second round. So an Arizona team that finished tied for fifth in a mediocre league and couldn't even win a game in the conference tournament is the only Pac-10 team left standing. FUCK. THAT.

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Eric Devendorf looks like a cross between Kid Rock and Edward Norton from American History X. Why hasn't someone taken a cheap shot at him yet? He talks shit, beats up women and probably masturbates to swastikas and trailer parks.

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The TV at my gym was tuned to TNT yesterday showing a movie starring that guy from Friday Night Lights and Ichiro. Some hot Asian pussy in it though.

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Speaking of Asian pussy, I went to a club in San Francisco. Hey-o!

I then went to another club and realized it's a good thing I have a girlfriend because I am absolutely incapable of talking to girls.

Cute girl: Hey, I'm Jessica.
Me: Hi.
Cute girl: So what are you guys up to tonight?
Me: About 11:30.

I think I then asked the girl to buy me a drink and told her that I don't like small talk but I'd let her suck my dick if she wanted.

But I had killer conversation with the bouncers.

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Gus Johnson gets the blog love. Bill Raftery has his onions. But I really enjoyed the team of Craig Bolerjack and Bob Wenzel in Boise. Those guys have good chemistry, call a clean game and have pretty good insight. Give them more action next week, CBS.

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Those Nike ads are good. The one with the North Carolina car speeding in Illinois; the UConn Business School kid in a UW house; the former Syracuse factory manager who won't hire a Ray. Your favorite?

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What were they thinking putting games in the Metrodome and in Miami? Playing a game in a football stadium is like playing in a giant hot air balloon. Those games looked empty (even on the main level) and you could tell that Gus Johnson wasn't really that into it. Bad location for big games.

Meanwhile, the games in Miami felt like preseason games. The crowd was just dead (perhaps, in the old folks capital of America, literally) and it really seemed to bring down the excitement of the games.

Best location? I'd go with Dayton.

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We now have to wait three more days until more Tourney action. Um, NIT?

4 comments:

rstiles said...

I agree with the Metrodome and Miami sites...why the fuck doesn't the NCAA put round 1 and 2 games at basketball arenas instead of fucking domes!!

JMC said...

Davidson vs SMC tonight in the NIT. If we were real sports fans Zach we'd be going to Moraga for that one.

GMoney said...

Why put anything down in Miami where sports go to die?

This should make you feel even worse...Mike Greenberg has all 16 teams in the Sweet 16.

Anonymous said...

Portland had a good feel to it, as did Dayton and Philly. Local teams playing nearby certainly helped those pods, though.

The Illinois cop ad is great.