Tuesday, March 10, 2009

An interview with Tyler Hansbrough

Tyler Hansbrough made ACC history Monday as the first player in the conference's history to be unanimously selected four times to the all-conference team. This doesn't change the fact that he kinda sucks.

The Big Picture: Thanks for joining us, Tyler.
Hansbrough: Sure. Great to be here.

TBP: Does anyone call you Ty?
Hansbrough: No.

TBP: When people call you Ty, is that confusing?
Hansbrough: I just said that no one calls me that.

TBP: Do people confuse you with Ty Lawson?
Hansbrough: No.
TBP: Is it because you guys look sort of similar?
Hansbrough: I don't think you're listening to me.

TBP: The ACC is a strong conference. Don't you think that Clemson coach Oliver Purnell looks like Louis Gossett Jr.?
Hansbrough: I don't know who that is.
Hansbrough: Yes.

TBP: Did you see Toy Soldiers?
Hansbrough: No.
TBP: There's that part where a bunch of dudes call one of those sex phone numbers. How often do you do that?
Hansbrough: I've never done that.

TBP: Do you masturbate to yourself in the mirror?
Hansbrough: No.

TBP: People call you Psycho-T. Don't you think that sounds like a band that would be like a worse version of Metallica that spends too much money on the sets at their live shows?
Hansbrough: Maybe.

TBP: Do you make girls call you Psycho-T when you're having sex?
Hansbrough: No.
TBP: Really?
Hansbrough: Yes.

TBP: Roy Williams seems like kind of an asshole. Do you think his ancestors were slave owners?
Hansbrough: Absolutely not.

TBP: Do you take offense to the Facebook groups titled Euthanize Tyler Hansbrough and Hansbrough Eats Babies?
Hansbrough: I have a thick skin.

TBP: Do you eat babies?
Hansbrough: No.
TBP: What about with barbecue sauce?
Hansbrough: No.

TBP: What do you say to people who say you resemble a mentally handicapped mannequin?
Hansbrough: No one's ever said that to me until now.

TBP: If you had to have sex with a dead person, tree or mentally handicapped mannequin, which would you choose?
Hansbrough: Would the dead person be hot?
TBP: Probably not.
Hansbrough: The dead person.

TBP: Some mock drafts have you going to Sacramento towards the end of the first round. Are you afraid that you might get shanked by Francisco Garcia?
Hansbrough: No.

TBP: Bobby Frasor's gay, right?
Hansbrough: I don't know.

TBP: Are you and Tyler Zeller brothers?
Hansbrough: No.

TBP: Ben Hansbrough is your younger brother. When you were little did you ever make him dress up like Raggady Ann?
Hansbrough: No.

TBP: Thanks for joining us, Ty. Good luck in the NCAA Tournament.
Hansbrough: Thank you.


Anonymous said...

You are another good white college player who wont be shit in the pros. kevin love. danny ferry. bob hurley. laettner. jj redick. adam morrison. don mclean. damon bailey. eric montross.

GMoney said...

I guarantee that this asshole masturbates to images of himself.

Anonymous said...

I guarantee that GMoney is a faggot who sucks all kinds of dick.

Anonymous said...

all of you people who say negative stuff about tyler are just jealous of his talent so keep running your mouth when he makes it even bigger than he is now maybe yal will realize he is an awesome WHITE basketball player.

Anonymous said...

Hey you MF's ...each time you try to put down Tyler you're just digging your hole deeper..meaning you look like fools. Everyone knows you are low lifes that are jealous of Tyler.
Ha Ha Haaaaa!!!! you fools!!
You still can't handle the fact that Tyler was smart enough not to play for your team.
You lousy inbreds.

Anonymous said...

Tyler looks like a bug eyed freak