Thursday, January 08, 2009

Bad day for Boston College

The Transitive Property states that if a = b and b = c, then a = c.

When applied to sports, common logic says:

"Team A defeated Team B, and Team B defeated Team C. Therefore, team A will defeat team C."

So enter Harvard as Team A, Boston College as Team B and North Carolina as Team C and we prove that Harvard will defeat UNC.

Of course mathematicians will tell you that's an unsound application of the property, to which we say, bullshit! Harvard wouldn't beat North Carolina, but the Crimson should probably be ranked No. 3 in the country. Or maybe No. 2. Fuck Duke. And fuck you eighth-grade algebra.

Meanwhile, things in the Boston College football department weren't so warm and fuzzy either.

After head coach Jeff Jagodzinksi was told he could not interview for the Jets coaching vacancy, he did anyway and was promptly fired Wednesday.

The Big Lead says its a win-win, while we're still wondering who the fuck Jeff Jagodzinski is. Didn't the Eagles lose five games this year, including a bowl stinker against Vanderbilt? Um, why would any team be interested in this guy? And why would he risk getting fired when nobody in their right mind would want this guy?!

Anyway, Boston College had a shitty day and the rest of the world can smile upon its failure. It's not the Red Sox or Patriots, but any sports failure in the state of Boston is a national victory.


GMoney said...

Zach, your first PlayboyU column should be that math equation and a 10,000 word essay on why Harvard is the best team ever. Hef will love it.

HM said...

The report I saw said that the AD is going to report to the school that he is firing the coach "without cause", so the coach will get his BC salary if he doesn't get another job.

If someone wants to fire me for interviewing and THEN agrees to make sure I get all my 5 years of pay...they are my best friend in the world.

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