Thursday, March 23, 2006

Yeah, so Sweet 16

This is what we have decided to do. Since there are two days of Sweet 16 action, and little else going on in the world of sports (minus a few NFL off-season moves), we're going to do a preview for today's games today, and tomorrow's games, well, tomorrow. Writer's block is creeping in, so we figure it best to spread out material when it's right there in front of us. Anyway, meaningful basketball. Cool.

Atlanta Region:

#1 Duke vs. #4 LSU:

So Duke has this guy JJ Redick. He can shoot the ball pretty well. He's white. He's a dickhole. He spoons with Josh McRoberts. LSU has this guy Glen "Big Baby" Davis. Why "Big Baby?" Well, he's fat as fuck and he looks pretty young. That'd be our guess. This Big Baby fella is pretty good though, and we think he may be able to stop Shelden Williams, who is Duke's most likable player. But we have this feeling that Redick is gonna go off (and jerk Greg Paulus off) and be the difference. Oh, and Duke's Coach Krz... is like pretty good at coaching.

The Big Picture pick: Duke

#2 Texas vs. #6 West Virginia:

West Virginia is hard to root against seeing how they are full of inbred hicks and we think those people are kinda funny. But Texas, with LaMarcus Aldridge and PJ Tucker, will give the Mountaineers a good ol' fashioned out-bred fucking and just pound them down low. WVU relies on the three and if it's not falling, this game won't be close.

The Big Picture pick: Texas

Oakland Region:

#1 Memphis vs. #13 Bradley:

We really kind of like Memphis. The Tigers have Rodney Carney who's a huge G and Darius Washington Jr. is your guy if the you need a clutch free throw. Bradley is somebody's name, we guess. Um, ok.

The Big Picture pick: just foolin'. Memphis, of course.

#2 UCLA vs. #3 Gonzaga:

This is hands down the best game on paper, but, as our associates tell us, a basketball game is played on a court. You're the first to know that our associates are now our former associates. Bastards. As for the game, we hate both of the teams a lot. Jordan Farmar is a cocky, Hollywood bitch. Adam Morrison is a cocky, rapist bitch. We hate these teams too much to even put into words. We're rooting for the rare, but not impossible, double-forfeit. Who's with us?

The Big Picture pick: (F)UC LA

In other news: Alfonso Soriano suited up in left field for the Washington Nationals yesterday after President Bush told him, "Play left, motherfucker, or I'm raising taxes."


Jeff said...

how do you dare call my boy a fat fuck! Big Baby is god!

Jeff said...

oh yeah, I'm an LSU fan by the way...

NFL Adam said...

My picks:
LSU, Memphis, UCLA, and that other team. Pittsnogle's boys.

insomniac said...

You didn't get the double forfeit, but watching Adam Morrison crying on the court had to bring you some gratification?

NFL Adam said...

That was unfuckingbelievable. Zach, we are killing Duke and Manning (Reddick for those of you unfamiliar with our site) today and tomorrow.

We are going to leave Morrison and the Zags for you. Now go get 'em.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...


congrats with the bruins. great game that we knew would get close. that close, no. but what a fucking game.
hater nation crew:

you guys better have a field day wudith jj manning, and all our readers should check out both the "nation and the 'lounge...links on the sidebar and probably in a post next week.

adam, as for ramming adam morrison, if we have time, we'll get him good for his sissy ass crying, he's gonna get millions next year. other GU players, nothing,