College Football teams we can all root against

We're filled with hate. We hate bland food, Gap commercials and many college football teams.

Not really sure why we dislike certain teams -- do we root against uniform, players or both? Probably both. While every college football fan hates their rival, most fans can come together for some community hate.

The top five teams that we all can root against every Saturday:

5. Ohio State


Whether it's Jim Tressel's ridiculous sweater vest, Brutus Buckeye's nonsense or Ohio State just giving us lousy championship games far too often, the Buckeyes are worth rooting against just so we don't have to see them an SEC team after the new year.

4. Alabama


Between Nick Saban being an asshole and a Golden Retriever being able to successfully play QB for the Tide, there's nothing likable about this team. Except the numbers on the helmet. That's pretty cool.

3. Florida


Urban Meyer + Tim Tebow + two National Championships in three years (and maybe more) = a lot of hostility from everyone else.

2. USC


It's always been a running joke that LA still has a professional football team and they wear red and gold. We've actually sorta liked a lot of the players that have come through SC and we don't really have any problems with Pete Carroll. Yet when you win seven straight Pac-10 titles, go to seven BCS bowl games in a row and finish in the top five seven straight years, you're going to have a very big X on your back. And what's up with Will Ferrell and Snoop Dogg? Go make Old School 2 already and stay away from the football field.

1. Notre Dame


We really think our biggest problem with the Irish is that the BCS will do anything to get them into a major bowl game. They could be 10-2, with wins over the regular of Michigan State, Stanford, Navy, etc. and go to a premiere game when you leave the likes of Boise State, TCU and Utah out.

And when Brady Quinn is succeeded by Jimmy Clausen, you really just wanna sock Charlie Weis in the gut for recruiting such pompous pricks.

What teams do you root against? Share your hate in the comments...

5 reasons why the World Series sucks

Game 1 of the World Series is hours away and, with the exception of 2002, we will likely be watching something else.

Maybe it's the teams, the ample other sporting events going on or FOX's telecasts, but this time of year, we just sorta lose interest. It's kinda the same feeling Orioles fans have in May.

Have similar feelings? Thought so. Here are five reasons why the World Series sucks.

5. Weather


Today's forecast in New York: High of 54, low of 45, rain.
Saturday's forecast in Philadelphia: High of 63, low of 45, rain.

Fantastic. You're shoulder pads and goalposts away from a football game.

4. East Coast


More particular to 2009 than the World Series in general, but it seems that often we'll have two teams competing for a championship that nobody west of the Mississippi cares about. Not that we'd prefer a Dodgers-Angels World Series. Actually, that would be worse. The Giants and Royals would be better, thanks.

3. Fairweather fans


Oh, the guy in the next cubicle over has been, "A fan FOREVER," has he? Sure. Whatever. He also roots for the Gators, New England and the Lakers AND Celtics (because he has ties to both teams).

And don't think we're just talking about the Yankees.

The Phillies have won far more recently than the Yanks who are looking for their first ring since 2000. We've seen more Philadelphia hats in California than A's hats lately.

2. Celebrity sightings


Certainly worse than usual with two big-market teams, but we don't need to be reminded 10 times throughout the game that Kate Hudson is dating A-Rod. If we wanted to see Hudson, we'd rent You, Me and Dupree and proceed to gouge out our eyes with a mechanical pencil. Let's stick to the baseball, fellas, and leave the B-list celebrities to TMZ.

1. Joe Buck


Joe Buck arrives just in time to bring fun, humor and excitement to baseball. Except that he doesn't and he looks at little girls the wrong way. He saps all the fun and pleasure out of the Fall Classic and injects monotone and boredom.

And let's not let Tim McCarver off the hook. He was held back in Kindergarten. Twice.

Foul Ball Etiquette

It's not easy getting a foul ball. Some people go to hundreds of games and leave with nothing but a lighter wallet. If you're lucky enough to be in foul-ball range, here's some proper etiquette to make sure you don't get jumped in the parking lot.

6a. Put down your fucking beer if you're serious about getting a ball.


There are three beers in that picture, two of which will surely spill on someone who won't get the ball. Put the beer down, put on your glove and act like a professional.

6b. Bring a glove -- if you don't, get the fuck out of the way.

Like seriously, bring a glove. People will think you're a true fan and not some corporate schmuck who is giving downtown ballparks a bad name.

5. Don't steal the ball from the kid when the umpire tosses it in the stands.


That poor girl doesn't stand a chance at getting the ball. If you're making a leaping grab on an Albert Pujols liner, fine. But when the ump casually tosses the ball to the crowd in between innings, let the little kid have the glory. Baseball is for the kids, after all.

4. If you chase a ball down the aisle in section 406 during a day game at Dolphin Stadium, do not pat yourself on the back.


I could get a foul ball in the nosebleeds at Marlins game while simultaneously jerking off, online shopping and making a peanut butter sandwich. If you happen to get an easy one, sit right back down and enjoy the rest of the game.

3. If you make a good catch, don't jump up and down like an idiot; act like you've been there before.

You've brought your glove, are in position and then Matt Kemp rips one in your vicinity and you leap and get it! Great catch, dude, but you didn't help the home team win. Enjoy the applause as you happily sit down without making a scene.

2. When do you have to give the ball to a kid?


Tough question. Let's decipher this from a few angles:

If you're at the game with your kid:

ALWAYS give the ball to your kid. Wanna pay for years of therapy down the road? Fuck. No. Make a leaping one-handed grab? And it's your FIRST EVER?!?! Give it to your kid.

If you don't have kids, but there's a kid sitting close by:

1. Make a leaping one-handed grab? And it's your FIRST EVER?!?! It's yours. Keep it, frame it and send a text to your GF who won't give two fucks that you caught a foul ball.

2. The ball bounces off three people, rolls down the aisle and it accidentally lands in your hand? Your call. But karma says give it to the kid. If not, a flat tire's coming your way.

3. The ball bounces off the kid's glove right in front of you, rolls down the aisle and accidentally lands in your hand? No-brainer. Give it to the kid.

If it's Adults-Only Night and there is no kid anywhere in the stadium.

Doesn't matter the circumstances. Give it to your girlfriend. You might actually get laid.

1. Don't pull a Bartman.


If you reach into the field of play,

1. Leave the stadium immediately
2. Find the nearest train tracks
3. Wait
4. Keep waiting
5. Stare the train down
6. Move at the last minute.
7. (If a repeat offender) don't move at the last minute.

Any omissions in the comments, please.

10 gym personalities that piss you off

Going to the gym sucks. It's hot, smelly and you have to interact with people who make you want to throw Brett Favre out of a fucking airplane. Sometimes you see a hot chick and then you have a fantastic workout and better jerk off session later, but often you don't see a hot chick and instead you see these 10 common gym personalities that piss you off.

10. The Space Cadet

You pick up the 80s to go sit down for some dumbbell bench press but The Space Cadet is blocking the aisle while bobbing his head to what's likely The White Stripes or some other shitty band that would make you want to bob your head while at a fucking gym.

9.. The Profuse Sweater

Gross, wet and doesn't wipe down the equipment after use, The Profuse Sweater is entirely responsible for the spread of athlete's foot, the common cold and SARS.

8. The Chit-Chatters

We're at a gym to either a.) boost our ego; b.) improve our body image to help us get laid; c.) boost our ego, confidence and body image to help us get laid. We're not there to FUCKING TALK. And we don't want to hear you talk either. Save the conversation for Starbucks and pop in your headphones and leave us the fuck alone.

7. The Dumbbell Misplacer

Oh, so you want to do your bicep curls with the 30s in the back of the gym away from the dumbbell rack? Sure thing, bud. Now you're done and too tired to bring the weights back to the rack? Oh, it's cool, I'll just search around for them for five minutes while losing the bench I wanted to The Hog (below). But glad you got your curls in. Now go choke on a dick.

6. The Stinker

You're going hard on a set of tricep extensions while the 60-year-old dude in the bike shorts and over-sized t-shirt walks through and smells like the entire canine family died in his armpits. Simultaneously. Old Spice, Sure and Right Guard all will do the trick, fella.

5. The Grunter

Loud, annoying and sounds like he's giving birth to a helicopter, The Grunter will make any quiet gym sound like a rock concert. Whether it's shoulder press, back rows or squats, you'll know when The Grunter is in your gym. You'll probably, in fact, be able to hear him from down the street.

4. The Faux Tough Guy

Wears a cut off shirt, looks like an asshole, has a tattoo on his left shoulder that he got when he was 18 to impress a girlfriend, yet when he goes in for the bench press, he looks around to make sure people are watching and then loads up the bar with 10s on each side. Fuck you, phony.

3. The Real Tough Guy

Wears a cut off shirt, looks like an asshole, has a tattoo on his left shoulder that he got when he was 18 to impress a girlfriend, yet when he goes in for the bench press, he looks around to make sure people are watching and then loads up the bar with three 45s on each side. Fuck you, you incredibly strong man who probably nails hot girls all the time.

2. The Hog

The Hog will lengthen your workout by a good 5-10 minutes. This person stays on cable machine doing pull-ups, chest exercises, shoulder extensions (one cable for each arm. Hey, turning your body around is tough!). The Hog exists on the aerobic machines, too. Wrapping up on the Elliptical? "Absolutely," says The Hog. "It'll just be a minute." Twenty-five minutes later you're ready to turn the preacher bar into a blunt weapon.

1. The Near Hot Chick

A woman's on the treadmill in front of you -- tight pants, tank top, long pony tail...AND SHE'S 49 with a gut and wrinkles you could probably go surfing on. So much for that post-workout jerk.

The Most-Hated Current MLB Players

It's easy to hate. We hate certain players, certain teams and white rice in a burrito. (Looking at you, Chipotle). While every person has a different amount of hate for some people, universal hate is perhaps easier to categorize. For example, we hate Khalil Greene because he notoriously kills the Giants (and looks like he should've been in Point Break.) While in football everyone hates T.O. See the difference? Good.

But let's stick with that universal hate. Naturally, these forms of hate differ and people have their biases. Here's our list of the top five players who you wouldn't mind seeing get a flat tire or Swine Flu. Your list in the comments.

5. Manny Ramirez, Showboat/Lazy Guy, Dodgers


Feel like people didn't care much for Manny as a Red Sox. His work ethic has never been very good and he's relied on his talent and charisma to become a star. Nothing really wrong with that, but, well, fuck that. He's like that guy in your 12th-grade Calculus class who doesn't study for any test and then gets an A. Yeah, Manny is that guy and that guy can go eat a dick.

Oh, and he took 'roids. Nobody really thinks highly of that.

4. Captain Pussyman, Pussy Magnet/Fist-Pumper, Yankees


He's good-looking, rich and successful. He bangs A+ talent and probably turns down girls you'd happily stroke it to. That sucks. If he got a scar resembling the one of Seal that'd probably be best for everyone.

3. A.J. Pierzynski, Mega Asshole/Clubhouse Cancer, White Sox


This guy played a short time for the Giants where he was a clubhouse cancer and the wrong end of one of the most lopsided trades in recent memory (he got sent from the Twins for Joe Nathan and Francisco Liriano).

He's mean, he's got a bad attitude and he's probably a republican. No redeeming qualities here.

2. A-Rod, Cheater (with women and needles), Yankees

He's done steroids, women who aren't his wife and might have herpes. Also seen as a sellout when he left Seattle for $252 million to play for Texas. Seen again as a sellout when he left Texas to play for the Yankees. Also rumored to have fooled around with Madonna which just makes everyone a little uncomfortable.

1. Jonathan Papelbon, Douche Munchkin/Animal Killer/Responsible for Michael Jackson's death, Red Sox


A picture's worth a thousand words.

Baseball Stadium Traditions

The Giants were in Milwaukee this weekend and in between furniture-breaking losses and solid wins, we were able to take in the Brewers' (and County Stadium's/Miller Park's) fantastic traditions. Naturally, that got us thinking of baseball's best stadium traditions.

Disclaimer: We've only been to about half of the Major League parks and clearly don't know the teams' traditions as well as the locals. While this list is designed for stadium-led (opposed to fan-led) promos, all traditions are welcomed. Help us out with your favorites in the comments.

5. The Rally Monkey


This is really a horrible tradition and the Rally Monkey is actually related to that monkey in Outbreak who brought a deadly airborne virus to California. This is only on the list because a list of four things is pretty weak and five is better. But the Rally Monkey totally sucks and is responsible for war, famine and poverty. Bitter? Not us.

4. The Home Run Apple


A staple at Shea Stadium, the Mets' Home Run Apple has made its way to Citi Field. After every Mets homer, the shiny red apple comes out of the magic hat. (If that doesn't sound suggestive, we don't know what does.)

3. Bernie's Dugout


After every homer and Milwaukee victory at Miller Park, Bernie the Brewer slides down his slide onto a platform. In the 80s, shit was cooler when he would plunge himself into a vat of beer. That was awesome. Bernie the Brewer could drink any mascot under the table.

2. Take Me Out to the Ball Game at Wrigley


Harry Caray brought this wonderful tradition to Wrigley Field in the early 80s when he led the crowd in the song during the Seventh-inning Stretch. After Caray's passing after the 1997 season, the Cubs now have a special guest lead the crowd in song -- most of whom suck.

1. The Sausage Race


Simply a promotion for Klement's Sausage Company, the race between the Bratwurst, Italian Sausage, Hot Dog, Chorizo and Polish began in the early 90s and remains strong nearly 20 years later. Occurring before the bottom of the sixth, the Sausage Race is always a good time for the fans and contestants. Are you the betting type? Our money is always on the Bratwurst.

Sports Fans We Love to Love

A while back our pals at Seattle Sportsnet made a fantastic list of the sports fans we love to hate and then followed it up with part two. While hate is normally in our blood, the sun is shining, the halter tops are out and summer has officially begun; those things put us in a happy place. So rather than discussing the common sports fans we hate, we thought we'd put out there the ones we love.

8. The Teacher


Characteristics: New father or grandfather; accompanied by young child; khakis, dress shirt and home team's cap; even demeanor; patience; probably looks and sounds like Peter Falk from The Princess Bride.

Love 'em because: Everyone needs a good teacher. This fan is there explaining the game to the fan of the future. The Teacher will put up with the silly questions and find pleasure in bonding with youth over a sporting event.

7. The Radio Listener


Characteristics: Middle-aged; hat is covered with pins; unshaven; headphones purchased in early 90s.

Love 'em because: The Radio Listener does not want to hear your bullshit. The Radio Listener does not want to hear the little boy ask his parents for another fucking malt. The Radio Listener does not want to hear that obnoxious heckler who has made it very clear that the pitcher is a bum.

The Radio Listener cares about the game and only about the game. In tune with the broadcast, this fan wants Xs and Os from the experts and that's it.

6. The Loyalist


Characteristics: Patient; happy-go-lucky; has solo season ticket; never leaves the game early; likes to make conversation with those around.

Love 'em because: The Loyalist will wait out the two-hour rain delay in Washington just to see the Nats lose 9-3 to the Marlins. Rain, repeated losing, family...nothing gets between The Loyalist and his team. The stadium is his home and he's just happy to be there.

5. The Rally Starter

Characteristics: Loud; confident; decked out in the team's apparel; makes friends with those around him; won high-school championship.

Love 'em because: The Rally Starter is a guy you love on your side and hate when he's against you. Kinda like Jonathan Papelbon. Or anyone on the Red Sox, really.

He'll be the optimistic one when you're down by six with a minute left and the other team at the free throw line; or when losing by two possessions entering the fourth quarter; or when you're trailing by two entering the bottom of the ninth. He's not naïve, just confident. With the support of The Rally Starter, "loss" is not in the vocabulary.

4. The Scorekeeper

Characteristics: Old, tattered hat of the home team; hunched shoulders; chewed-on pen; scorebook; pack rat.

Love 'em because: The Scorekeeper is dedicated. Plain and simple. Not the type to cheer wildly for the 450-foot shot, but rather keeps to himself and records the homer in the scorebook. Wondering what the No. 3 hitter did in his second at-bat? Go make friends with The Scorekeeper.

3. Nervous, Worst-Case-Scenario Guy Who Lives and Dies with Every Pitch/Play/Possession.


Characteristics: Medium build; little-to-no team apparel; sweaty palms; looks physically uncomfortable; very quiet; used to heartbreak.

Love 'em because: Nervous, Worst-Case-Scenario Guy Who Lives and Dies with Every Pitch/Play/Possession really fucking cares. Like a lot. This is your true fan. This is the fan that has seen the home team blow a 20-point halftime lead. This is the fan that has seen the closer give up three runs in the top of the ninth in the playoffs. This is the fan that has seen the onside kick recovered by the opponent. But this is the fan that keeps coming back.

Devoted, passionate and sincere, Nervous, Worst-Case-Scenario Guy Who Lives and Dies with Every Pitch/Play/Possession is as die-hard as they come.

2. The Purist

Characteristics: Wearing sport apparel but not of any particular team; pensive; happy to chit-chat but comfortable in silence; looking for ample opportunities to clap.

Love 'em because: The Purist is there strictly for the love of the game.

The Purist will applaud a good play by the opposing team, give a standing ovation to an opposing pitcher who just threw a complete-game shutout and nod their head at a well-designed play.

The Purist may root for a certain team, but as long as the game is being played the way it's meant to be played, that's all that really matters.

1. The Hot Chick


Characteristics: Heavy make-up; high heels; club wear; guy on her arm; drink in hand; has absolutely no idea what type of sporting event she is actually at.

Love 'em because: Sports are so great because they often can be amazing without T and A. Yet when the two cross paths, good things often happen. We've all been to that 5-2 snoozefest in the summer, yet when you have The Hot Chick in the row in front of you, cleavage, legs and maybe a thong shot can keep you plenty entertained while your favorite team makes you feel stupid for spending $50 to see a dud of a game.

Thoughts, disagreements and other fans we love to love in the comments, please.

Miserable Sports Cities

Just when something good was about to happen to Cleveland, a city that's been waiting for nearly 50 years for something good to happen, along comes Dwight Howard, raining threes and punishing defense to remind Cleveland natives that "good" and "sports" in the same sentence just aren't meant to be.

But Cleveland isn't the only city that's hurting. Here's a look at the top five most miserable sports cities. As always, omissions, thoughts and disagreements welcome in the comments.

5. Atlanta

Hard to consider Atlanta as miserable seeing as the Braves won 14-straight division titles starting in 1991. Yet, they only won one World Series in that span ('95) and have had mediocre attendance since, despite their regular-season success.

Aside from the Hawk's 1958 championship (which actually occurred while in St. Louis), Atlanta's success has been scattered and inconsistent. The Dirty Bird was fun while it last, though.

4. San Diego

Neither the Chargers or Padres have won a Super Bowl or World Series, respectively, though the Chargers did win an AFL title in 1963.

Of the four pro teams to have called San Diego home (the Rockets and Clippers used to play there), none have an overall winning record in the city. This futility has led to the term San Diego sports curse. Nobody really refers to the San Diego sports as a curse because we don't think anybody really cares. Great weather and nice beaches can really go a long way...

3. Buffalo

It's been 44 years since Buffalo has been a championship city. Sure, the Bills tried really, really hard in the 90s, but lost four-straight Super Bowls, which must be some sort of record.

The Sabres have had success, yet have only made it to the Stanley Cup Finals twice, most recently in 1999 losing to the Stars in six.

Pro baseball and basketball isn't really a big deal up there. But Niagara Falls is pretty neat.

2. Seattle

The Emerald City's last professional championship was 30 years ago by a team that no longer plays there (the Sonics). Of course the Seattle Storm captured a WNBA crown in 2004, but nobody really seems to notice that.

The Seahawks made the 2006 Super Bowl and have been a playoff team for much of the decade, yet its history is built on losing.

The Mariners won a record 116 games in 2001, yet remain one of few teams to never reach the World Series.

The Washington Huskies football team captured a co-National Championship with Miami in 1991, but are in the midst of five straight losing seasons and went 0-12 last year which we still can't believe actually happened.

1. Cleveland

The Browns won the NFL Championship in 1964 and that's about all the city's got. Of course Art Modell moved the team to Baltimore in '96 (where the Ravens later won a championship to add to the pain) and the city was without an NFL team for three years. Now they have Brady Quinn. Take that any way you want.

The Indians made the World Series in 1997, yet lost to the Marlins and have the second longest World Series drought behind the Cubs. They're more known for their controversial mascot than anything else.

The Cavs made the NBA Finals in 2007, only to be swept. This latest disappointment will lead to off-season speculation of LeBron James' future in Cleveland. If he leaves, Cleveland could become a ghost town.

5 Fantasy Baseball players you want to bludgeon with, well, a baseball bat

Two fantasy posts in one week? What are we? Baseball Prospectus? Oh, heavens, no. We have far less credibility, money and stale writing. But yes, two fantasy posts in one week. That's what happens in May when you refuse to touch the NBA Playoffs.

Clearly our fantasy team sucks more dick than a pornstar, so one of these guys is naturally on our team; surprisingly not more. The top five guys who are ruining your fantasy team (stats through Monday):

5. Lance Berkman, OF, Houston, Average Pick 20.4:


Berkman fell to you in the third round and despite taking Grady Sizemore in the first round, you had to take a second outfielder because you went with the best player available. Instead, you have a .184 average, seven homers, and 16 RBI. But cool catch, dude.

4. Josh Hamilton, OF, Texas, Average Pick 9.9:


No alcohol or cocaine jokes here. The .242 average, two homers and 10 RBI are funny enough. More of a laughing matter: Hamilton missed the last two weeks with strained rib cage. (He'll be back any day now).

3. B.J. Upton, OF, Tampa Bay, Average Pick 17.1:


We could easily go the B.J. ain't getting any BJs with a .167 average, no homeruns and three RBI route, but instead we'll suggest he needs the extra BP and maybe a new set of batting gloves.

2. Mark Teixeira, 1B, New York Yankees, Average Pick 12.5:


New contract, new ballpark, new struggles. $180 million now buys a .198 average, seven homers and 17 RBI.

1. Jimmy Rollins, SS, Philadelphia, Average Pick 13.4:


If the umpire had Rollins on his fantasy team like we do, he'd call that pitch a strike. A .195 average, one homer and only one stolen base make Rollins the top bust of the early 2009 season. We spent a first-round pick on him; others did too. And now we want to beat him with a rosin bag.

Your praise, hate-filled disagreement and fantasy angst in the comments, please.

Top 5 Mexican athletes

Today is Cinco de Mayo, which celebrates the Mexican army's unlikely defeat of French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862. But you know it better for margaritas and tequila shots. It's also a way to celebrate Mexican heritage and show pictures of Salma Hayek, who is Mexico's gift to the world. Mexico hasn't turned out many successful pro athletes, but there are some, listed here. CINCO DE MAYO!!!!!

Honorable Mention: Eduardo Nájera, forward, New Jersey Nets


Nájera would have made the top-five -- he's only the second Mexican-born NBA player -- yet he averaged 2.9 points and 2.5 rebounds this past season. Ain't gonna cut it, Eddie.

5. Jorge Cantú, infielder, Florida Marlins


This Texas-born Mexican-American hit 28 homeruns and drove in 117 runs in his first full season in the majors with Tampa in 2005. He belted 29 homers last season for Florida and has represented Mexico in the WBC in 2006 and in 2009. He once had cool, Captain-Morgan-like facial hair.

4. Adrián Gonzalez, first baseman, San Diego Padres


The first overall pick in the 2000 MLB draft (by the Marlins), Gonzalez has become the best Mexican-American baseball player in the world. He was born in San Diego, but lived in Mexico for 12 years as a kid. He was a 2008 All Star and Gold Glove winner. He also was involved in one of the most lopsided trades in recent memory, with the Rangers trading Gonzalez, pitcher Chris Young and outfielder Terrmel Sledge to the Padres in return for Adam Eaton and Akinori Otsuka. Worked out really well for Texas. Gonzalez is also known for hitting a double every time he's at bat, especially against the Giants. Despite his .282 lifetime batting average, it's a proven fact that he's doubled every time he's ever been up.

3. Lorena Ochoa, golfer


Ochoa is the No. 1 ranked female golfer in the world. As the first Mexican golfer of either gender to be ranked No. 1, she's considered the best Mexican golfer of all time. This doesn't change the fact that we've never heard of her.

2. Lee Trevino, golfer


Clearly not as highly regarded as Ochoa, but Trevino has faced stiffer competition -- and we'd heard of the guy, dammit. Trevino won six majors (never got that green jacket, though) and has a winning smile. Always thought he was Italian based on the name. Clearly mistaken.

1. Oscar De La Hoya, boxer


The Golden Boy had a 39-6 career record and won 10 world titles in six different weight classes. De La Hoya made nearly $700 million from pay-per-view income having gone to work 45 times in a 17-year career. Sweet deal. He may or may not have a weird fetish.

Your thoughts and Salma pictures in the comments, please.

The worst sports tragedies

Been a sad week in sports. News is bleak out of Florida as the Coast Guard has called off the search for two missing NFL players and a third man lost in the chilly Gulf of Mexico waters.

Sad times spark other melancholy thoughts. There have been many sports tragedies, with lists being published of athletes who have perished in plane crashes, college sports tragedies and soccer devastation.

We put our own list together of horrible sports tragedies. These are high-profile, relatively-recent events that garnered a bulk of media attention.

Feel free to disagree and leave your thoughts in the comments.

5. Roberto Clemente


Such a generous, talented and wonderful player, Clemente was doing charity work aiding earthquake victims when his flight from San Juan, Puerto Rico en route to Nicaragua went down.

4. Players lost at sea


Just fucking terrible. A routine fishing trip that turns tragic? This is not The Perfect Storm. Just to imagine what those guys went through is painful.

3. Oklahoma State basketball team's plane crashes



In early 2001, the plane with two Cowboys players, six staffers and broadcasters goes down. All 10 people were killed. Being a mid-season tragedy brought even more attention to the disaster.

2. Marshall Plane Crash


In November, 1970, a plane crash kills 75 members of the Marshall football family -- including 37 players, the head coach and four assistant coaches.

This led to the 2006 film We Are Marshall which probably would have been better without Matthew McConaughey.

1. 1972 Olympics


Terrorist attacks infiltrated the Summer Games in Munich when a Palestinian terrorist group killed 11 Israeli athletes. A world event that mixed sports and politics in an awful way.

Sports' biggest non-stories

Sometimes there just isn't news. It's the sad reality of the media. And it's ethically incorrect to make stuff up, we're told.

But blowing shit out of proportion isn't against the rules, and it has happened far too often lately. It leads to drawn out, meaningless "stories" that have little-to-no effect on, well, anything.

Sounds like a list.

The biggest non-stories in sports from the last year or so:

8. Barbaro

Nope. Very much a story.

7. Joba Chamberlain's antics.

Fans, too, no longer should pump fist, yell or gyrate. Gyrate?

6. What to do with 756?

Send it to Cooperstown? Send it to the Hall with an asterisk? Launch it into space?

Ah. Mark Eckō. Fashion designer. Baseball purist.

5. Jessica and Tony split.

Good for US Weekly, People or National Enquirer. Bad for ESPN, SI or Fox Sports.

4. Clemens sleeps with unknown country singer.

Clemens joins probably about, oh, a thousand other professional athletes who have had affairs. But, hey, he also allegedly took steroids! Let's make him wear an "A "on his chest and then burn him at the stake!

3. Earnhardt joins Hendrick Motorsports.

We once met a cabbie who went from Orange Cab Co. to Yellow Cab Co. Riots ensued.

2. Matt Leinart likes to fight for your right to paaar-taaay.

Elsewhere, young superstars have just started listening to the devil's music, called "Rock 'n' Roll."

1. Spygate.

If we are subjected to this one more time, we're going to commit seppuku with a parking meter.

We're missing some. Surely. We always do. No need to make a big fuss. Just let us know other big sports non-stories in the comments.