Saturday, May 27, 2006

Smoot and McKinnie guilty of being P-I-M-P-S

Minnesota Vikings playahs Fred Smoot and Bryant McKinnie pleaded guilty Friday to getting their shit on during a sex cruise.

Many may remember that Smoot, apparently not fond of his own penis, decided to use a double-headed plastic dick on a stripper.

McKinnie, no angel himself, was accused of performing oral sex on an exotic dancer, which begs two questions:

1. Why was he performing oral sex? Shouldn't he have been the receiver?
2. Are his newly acquired herpes oral, genital or both?

Both Smoot and McKinnie will pay a $1,000 fine -- all in singles -- and will perform 48 hours of community service, which will entail cleaning up after gentlemen who use the erotic video booth in a strip club. That term was dubbed "jizz mopper" in Clerks.

Justice and the legal system are cool and all, but we're crossing our fingers than this is not the last we hear about the S.S. Love Boat. Some stories are just too good to end.

Oh, and we think that Smoot and McKinnie should probably be paid $1,000 for giving, not taking. But that's for them to work out with the strippers.

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