Wednesday, May 10, 2006

No wonder he can’t hit!

A’s catcher Jason Kendall couldn’t hit a home run in a Little League field off a tee. We now know why.

“Major League Baseball has turned into a badminton league,” he told the AP yesterday.

Really? Badminton? Really?

As far as we can tell, Kendall does step to the plate with a bat, but that white thing being tossed his way, well that might be a shuttlecock. Moreover, he probably doesn’t want to hit the ball/cock over the fence, thinking it would be out of bounds.

(By the way, the Angels' catcher appears to be tossing Kendall's salad in the photo above. Goes with the whole shuttlecock theme. Kinda.)

Fine, so his badminton comment was in reference to how soft the league has become. Kendall, meanwhile, is earning serious G-status here at The Big Picture.

This dude, whose 5 o’clock shadow arrives around 9:25 a.m., charged the mound May 2 after getting brushed back with a pitch. Hit? No. Brushed the fuck back! Savage! He then beat the hell out of Angels pitcher John Lackey and was slapped with a four-game suspension yesterday.

More from Kendall on his suspension:

"The fact that they won’t knock anything off is embarrassing to the game because the game has changed," he said." Now you can’t really defend yourself. I understand I have to be suspended."

Though some, well, really just Kendall, would say that he didn't pick a fight. We'll let Kendall explain:

"It’s not like I went out and picked a fight. Nothing would have happened if he wouldn’t have said anything to me, if he wouldn’t have taken three steps hard at me. I get called out by Lackey. He calls me out and disrespects me and I’m supposed to sit here and have him yell at me?"

Yeah, running out, making first contact, and throwing punches isn't starting a fight. Not at all.

Anyway, great stuff. We might remind you that Kendall was not hit by the pitch. We especially like the part about defending himself. (Hard to say what he would’ve done to Delmon Young had he been the ump.) Did we mention that Kendall wasn’t hit by the pitch? By the way, Jason, when you get “called out,” you’re supposed to hit a home run, not start a fight.

But that’s a pretty hard thing to do when playing badminton.

In other news: Devil Rays prospect Delmon Young was suspended for 50 games without pay yesterday after spitting on an umpire charging the stands at a Pistons game raping a woman in Durham, N.C. raping a woman in Eagle County, Colo. throwing his bat at an umpire.

-Adam Landres-Schnur

Adam is the sports editor at the University of Washington's The Daily. He does not eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.

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