How's this for a fun sports weekend:
- Stanford 34, Washington 14
- Oregon 42, Cal 3
- Cubs 3, Giants 0; Cubs 6, Giants 2 -- all but formally eliminated the Giants from the playoff race.
- Minnesota 27, San Francisco 24 -- If that didn't put the icing on the fucking cake for an atrocious sports weekend, we've never had icing. Or cake.
Can't remember much worse of a sports weekend. It's times like these where there is nothing fun about sports; it serves only as a recreational activity to tear out your heart with an ice cream scoop.
So forgive us if we aren't all smiles this week. We'll probably lock ourselves in a closet and dedicate our life to perfecting the French Knot.