Tuesday, September 08, 2009

A shot at jail by strangling Tila Tequila


We're not quite sure who Tila Tequila is and why she does what she does, but Shawne Merriman probably shouldn't be banging her (she probably has an entire village of insects down there, bro) and he probably shouldn't have tried to strangle her despite her being fucking obnoxious.

She's not even really hot. She weighs like 89 pounds, so there could be advantages to that. She's the type you could probably bang upside down against a palm tree while a family of four watched. But, wait, what? WHO THE FUCK IS TILA TEQUILA? It shows she had a lot of friends on MySpace. We have like 140 friends on Twitter. And we want nothing to do with Merriman and his assault-hawk.

7 comments:

rstiles said...

Tequila's real last name is "Wynn" but it is spelled Nygugen...

Merriman is another NFL fuck-up...

Anonymous said...

SHES A HOUSTON ASIAN BISEXUAL BROAD WHO SLUTTED HER WAY INTO A REALITY STAR

GMoney said...

Is Merriman trying to break Jim Brown's record of most women assaulted???

HM said...

Anonymous is 100% correct -- if ever a jury could be swayed by the defense of "she deserved it" it would be in a case involving Tia Tequila (oh, and the lady Robert Blake said he didn't kill).

Bokolis said...

Ummm, I'll agree that she's no prize, but Vietnamese birds are some dirty girls...and I mean the good kind of dirty.

Anonymous said...

bokolis - agreed with the vietnamese. straight swallowers.

Lana said...

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