Wednesday, September 23, 2009

About the time I think I might have maybe been picked up at a gay bar

I prefer to avoid LA at all costs. It's smoggy, elitist and I feel like I need about six more 0s at the end of my income to feel important in that town; that's a feeling no one should ever have.

At the same time, you can walk out the front door and instantly be surrounded by five incredibly hot chicks. Even the dogs in LA are fucking attractive.

One night I met up with some college buddies to go out in Hollywood. I've been reading all about Tucker Max's exploits and now feel I can conquer the fucking world. I wanted to go test my new knowledge by playing the best fucking wingman ever.

We went out to a bar in a strip mall that seemed kinda cool. One of the guys we were with knew the bartender and we were doing shots and being rowdy and looking for chicks to pick up.

And then I had one of those moments right out of Chasing Amy.

(4:50-5:25 mark)

It was ALL DUDES!!! It wasn't that it was a weekday night. It wasn't that it was a sports bar. I was at a gay bar.

Cool. No prob. Had a good laugh at the slow realization of it all.

And then when a tall, handsome man approaches me and ask me if he knows me from somewhere, I think I might be having my first I'm-getting-picked-up-at-a-gay-bar moment.

Granted, I was very friendly when I told him I never lived in Florida, don't know anyone who lives in Florida and have not been to Florida in about 20 years.

We then left and found a bar that had girls and karaoke and $16 pitchers of beer (FUCK LA!) and I fucking nailed my wingman status with two cute girls new to the area (they're from Chicago and sounded like Chris Farley from the Ditka SNL skit). They were both cute and totally DTF!

OK. LA's kinda cool. Then I went into a store where they sell $125 t-shirts and the woman working there was among the hottest chicks I've ever seen. This town is fantastic.


Bokolis said...

It's been 7 years since I swore off that town. Sounds like the place hasn't changed, hehehe.

I do remember everybody being on a perpetual audition, or acting that way.

Anonymous said...

GMoney said...

The gay guy noticed your Judaism and assumed that you gave great BJ's!

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