Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Fuck You, Bee
Fuck You, Penguin is officially the funniest site in the history of humor. So we're going to copy it as much as possible -- but in a sports way. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. If you don't think this is funny, well, you suck and once let your dog lick peanut butter off your penis.
So this is how you decide to spice up a Padres game, Bee? You and all your friends couldn't just sit back and let the fans enjoy a nice day at the park. LEAVE THE FUCKING USHER ALONE!
Bees get a bad rap. They really do. Some people use fists, some use coercion and others use humor as defense mechanisms. You, Bee, don't have these options. It's just a tiny little stinger for you. And honey tastes good. So thanks.
Nevertheless, Bee, you sting people and that shit hurts. And some people are allergic and die. That's wrong. You are responsible for killing Macaulay Culkin in My Girl. How can you live with that weight on your shoulders?
Stick to your regional parks and stay the fuck away from our picnics and baseball games, Bee. Or, hell, keep stinging us all you like. The joke's on you, pal.