Thursday, July 02, 2009

Mark Sanchez autographs cocktailer's arm, no sex exchanged

A cocktail waitress at New York club, Marquee, sees Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez sitting at the bar, gets flush with excitement as she recognizes the city's hottest new celebrity and decides to savor the moment forever.

So she does what any cocktail waitress at a swanky New York City club would do: She asks for his signature on her arm. Not on the pad of paper she was presumably holding. Not on a menu. Not on a napkin. Not on her rack.

On her arm. On her fucking arm. What the fuck is this woman going to do with Mark Sanchez's scribbled signature on her goddamn arm? Frame a photo of it and put it on her bedside table and kiss it before turning out the light? Show off the autographed arm to customers throughout the evening?

Waitress: "Hey!!!!! Mark Sanchez just wrote on my arm!!!!!!
Customer: "Tom Collins, please. Easy on the lemon juice."

If she wanted to soak in the moment, why not just bang him? That'd be much more memorable than an AUTOGRAPH ON YOUR FUCKING SKIN! We don't know what this gal looks like, but based on photos of the club we'd imagine the cocktailers working there are pretty attractive. And Sanchez is single. And he was drinking. With Nick Mangold (who was not asked for an arm autograph).

Guess she wasn't brunette.


Bokolis said...

Quality of the waitresses in there ranges from about a 3 seed to 6 seed, with outliers on either side.

But, there are far better places in the Apple. Marquee is a decent place, but beneath a star QB or even a pulling guard (or whateverthefuck Mangold is). That may partly explain her excitement. She's probably getting the autograph tatted.

rstiles said...

Great writing today....made me laugh!!!