Thursday, June 18, 2009

Fuck You, Seagull

Wrigley Field

Fuck You, Penguin is officially the funniest site in the history of humor. So we're going to copy it as much as possible -- but in a sports way. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. If you don't think this is funny, well, you suck and once let your dog lick peanut butter off your penis.

Oh don't get me started, Seagull. Wrigley Field is not the motherfucking beach. There is no sand here. There is no water here. There are no women frolicking in bikinis begging to be ravaged by any species of males.

This is a baseball stadium, Seagull. Reed Johnson does not want you all up in his shit. Speaking of shit, do not shit on Reed Johnson. He only likes that when he's been drinking.

The thing is, Seagull, you can't come alone. Can't leave home without your friends, can you? It's all about strength in numbers for you birds. You need your entire entourage to validate that you're an asshole.

But the game's up, Seagull. You're down by six with two outs in the ninth. There's a high fly to center and BAM! You lose, Seagull.

(Photo: The Cubdom)


Anonymous said...

How about FU I the only pissed that the local news has the weatherman appear every 8 minutes or so with a forecast that is not going to be right so that the sports guy gets reduced to about 45 seconds. Why in the hell is more time give to the ignorant ass clown known as the weather guy when there is a whole damn channel dedicated to the weather. I can't put it on ESPN to keep up on my local minor league sports teams but the weather channel will keep us up to date and they have hot women on there too. I would let Stephanie Abrams do anything she wanted to me but that is a different story. So in summary Fuck You weatherman for always being wrong and monopolizing time so the sports guy gets a grand total of zilch point shit time for his sportscast.

Anonymous said...

How about a hearty FU for the phrase "golf shot" I'm a golfer and hate when people say that is a good "golf shot" oh....for a second I thought we were playing hockey, thanks for reminding me. Why don't they use that in all sports..."Lebron just hit a big basketball shot to win the game" Oh I know why...because it sounds that fucking in essance I'm saying FUCK YOU, "Golf shot".