Monday, January 23, 2006

On to Motown


I'm back! Two boring games, two correct picks. I'm, as some played-out Sportscenter anchor would say, "En Fuego." I'll give you some fire...

Steelers 34, Broncos 17:


-Riddle me this: What's uglier? Jake Plummer or the way he played? Despite his three devastating turnovers, Plummer looks like he has been living in some cave in the Rockies for the past three years. I got physically nauseous looking at him.

-But you can't place the loss solely on Plummer, even though I'd like to. Pittsburgh played a helluva game.

-Big Ben Roethlisberger, opposing QB and cave man, had a fantastic game. I think my whole calling him out thing got him all pumped up. Yeah, something like that.

-I really like Bill Cowher. I mean, the guy is just cool. And I'm glad he keeps winning because, with that look on his face, I'd be scared to see what he's like when they lose. Perhaps he'd do something crazy like rob a jewlery store for $175 or brandish a gun at a local McDonald's. Or not.

-The officiating wasn't bad. A shocker.

-Two weeks before Super Bowl XL and I'm telling you now, the Steelers will be tough to beat.


Seahawks 34, Panthers 14:

-Boorriiiing.

-This was supposed to be an exciting, intense game. Even in Seattle, people didn't seem especially entertained.

-I'm glad that Joe Buck dwelled on the fact that their was no Gatorade bath for Mike Holmgren. Great commentating, Joseph.

-Jake Delhomme came into the playoffs as the highest rated passer in playoff history. 15-35 for 196 yards, a TD and 3 INTS won't help that number.

-Despite not having the rapist/porn star beard, Delhomme and his terrible passes looked awfully like Jake Plummer yesterday.

-And some of those throws Delhomme made. I mean, what the fuck? Young Alex Smith could've done better than that.

-Seattle makes its first ever trip to the Super Bowl. Bet they're glad it came the year it's being held in Detroit. Big whoop there. Maybe they'll make a tourist stop in Flint, Mich.

-And at the end of the day, we're looking at Pittsburgh and Seattle in Super Bowl XL with the Steelers an early 3.5-point favorite. Get ready for constant coverage of a game that won't be played until next month. I know I'm ready.


In other news: After speeding while driving drunk, sources have confirmed that LeBron James' mother, Gloria, was kicked off of the Virginia Tech football team.

3 comments:

THN said...

I'm not sure I'm ready for your gloating. Nice jab at Lebron's moms.

wjackalope said...

Am I the only one who doesn't give a shit that Kobe dropped 81 on Toronto. Hold a TEAM under 81 and then I'll be impressed.

Liam said...

Not so fast my friend. I wouldn't put Alex Smith past Jimmy Clausen, the highly recruited HS junior who's been offered scholarships by South Carolina, USC, and Notre Dame. Alex Smith is wretched. I'm going to call him a bust right now.

Great line about Lebron's mom. Very clever.