Thursday, January 26, 2006
Ron Arest to fight in Sacramento
So our favorite NBA star, Ron Artest, is coming to Northern California. We haven't been this excited since the Niners hired Norv Turner.
After going back and forth about whether or not he would play for the Kings (did someone say A-Rod and World Baseball Classic? Thought so.) Artest was traded for Peja Stodkdlgdjolkjvic and a bag of Cheetos.
Artest brings his badass attitude to Northern California, which quickly is becoming a thuggish area. The Raiders got Randy Moss last year, and the Oakland A's went out and got Milton Bradley and Frank Thomas this offseason -- both who are huge G's!
Speaking of the baggage that Ronnie brings to the Kings, Artest filled suitcases with personal possessions including 500 copies of his hit CD and a pair of boxing gloves. You know, to fight with.
This deal, which was thought to have gone through a few days ago, was held up when Artest briefly called off the trade. He had to consider all of the elements, such as what was best for his family. Like Indianapolis is the cultural center of the world or something. Hey, and Sacramento's not half bad. It has a river at least.
Artest, back in the news, only reminds us of the Basketbrawl that happened last season in Detroit. That brawl/riot, in our opinion, was one of the best things to ever happen to the NBA. Never have people been more glued to the TV watching something related to that league.
Fans in Sacramento should welcome Artest with open arms. He is, after all, a pretty decent player...but a better fighter. I fully support heckling and throwing shit in order to inflict another riot -- this time in Sacto. Hey, anything's possible when Artest is on the floor (or in the stands).
In other news: Marshall upset West Virginia in college hoops after the Mountaineers discovered that "Pittsnogle" is not a verb.