Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Hating Fox Sports, Part 4: Joe Buck


Let's face it: Joseph Buck is a daddy's boy. His father, longtime great commentator, Jack, was legendary. And son, Joseph, is anything but.

Craig Barker, commenting on bravesbeat.com, suggested that Joseph, "Will sell anything Fox tells him to sell. He'll promote anything. He's a pathetic corporate 'yes' man riding his no talent ass on his father's coattails."

That seems just about right. He resembles a puppet (or one of those dudes from "Team America") and seems to be a puppet for Fox Sports as well.

We've ripped on good ol' Joe pretty good here at The Big Picture. We've compared him to a brick wall, stuffed animal and an asshole. Stating the obvious, he's all of the above.

It's not so much that Joseph says stupid things from time to time. I can look past that. It's how he calls the game. He can make the most exciting game, play or moment as dull as his love life. For example, after the Chicago White Sox won their first World Series in 300 years, he said something monumental and profound like, "And the White Sox have won the World Series" in a monotone voice that public speaking teachers will tell you to never, ever use.

It's safe to say that if ESPN's Mike Patrick (one of my favorites) was calling that game, he may have had a fucking heart attack in pure jubilation and excitement. There's nothing exciting about Joseph.

Football is no better. Hearing him call a playoff game is agonizing. Buck's ignorance, and gift for making things boring, makes his partner in crime (and perhaps in bed), Troy Aikman, sound far better than he actually is.

According to Wikipedia, an online encyclopedia, Joseph has won numerous Sports Emmy Awards, which apparently get handed out to anybody who has access to a microphone.

Joseph is bad for sports, bad for fans and bad for society. The Big Picture certainly does not salute you and prefers that you take no part in calling anything that people actually plan to watch.

Read more about how Fox Sports sucks here, here and here.

13 comments:

NFL Adam said...

I once interview the Mighty Ducks announcer and he took great pains to point out that he got to where he is without having a Dad in the business.

His openings are especially unnerving. I'm Joe Buck, Troy Aikman will be along shortly. But this is me time, where I get to fuck the camera with my eyes because I am that damn good.

Sorry, we don't use profanity on the Nation, but we had to drop it here because it came from the heart.

insomniac said...

I actually think that Troy Aikman is the best color commentary guy in the NFL right now. Aikam actually comments on the coaching strategies, presnap reads..you know football stuff. I absolutely prefer that over the "look at this hit" or "you don't think he doesn't want to win?" comments. Although I must admit that I never considered the angle that he just sounds so much better because he has Buck as his counterpart.

insomniac said...

I gotta stop typing on an hours sleep...I'm jacking everything up. Aikam of course, is what my 80 year old grandmother calls Aikman.

JMC said...

I would rather put a rusty nail through my eye than listen to Joe Suck call a game.

NFL Adam said...

I would agree about Aikman. Best QB of his generation, and no surprise, the best commentator too.

JMC said...

maybe my opinion is just colored by how much I loathe Joe Suck, but I can't fucking stand Aikman either. I think he's a total chump.

or maybe it's cause I hated him when he was playing cause I hated the cowboys. Go niners!

Anonymous said...

I find myself on my laptop at night...searching for a new blog. I have been in the play by play business for 20 years, and am embarrased for myself and my profession when I hear Joe Buck broadcast any sporting event.

Anonymous said...

Im not done yet I guess. I read up and yes its Joe Buck's tone of voice....and also the monotonous volume, like he cant hear himself. He concentrates on what the athlete HASNT done, not what he MIGHT do, over analyzes...and the gentleman up above is correct, cannot call a moment....or a play. Doesnt, cant ....and wont.

Anonymous said...

Joe Buck is sad...and Aikman: Does he talk like that when he's with his friends? Over and over, he states the obvious...Troy, this is TV...I'm watching what your watching...tell me something I don't know. And for crissakes, listen to a tape of yourself...your tone and inflection is annoying and is almost as monotonous as Joe Buck.

Anonymous said...

FUCKING PATHETIC RICH BOY JOE BUCK MR I LOVE THE METS OR YANKEES I KNOW THIS TOO WELL BEING FROM MISSOURI N A DIEHARD Cardinals fan ..he fucking has the nerve to call our games !!!!!!!!!!!!! he is 100% pro mets or yankees --has no business doing cardinals games......

shawn malloy said...

I'd rather dip my testicals in muriatic acid than listen to Joe Buck.....OUCH!

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Anonymous said...

Can't stand watching games with this idiot...who said he was good...they should be fired along with this idiot...tr,y to watch games and this idiot can't getstuff straight that every Harry homeowner know the answer to and he can't get it right...I'm available can't do no worse