Saturday, January 28, 2006

Not a good day for the role models of America

You hear it all the time how athletes are these awesome role models and all. Well, yesterday's events may make kids anywhere and everywhere reconsider their heroes.

Washington Redskins' safety Sean Taylor is looking at a potential of 46 years for spitting in the face of Michael Pittman, while former UNLV standout and NBA dunk contest winner, Isaiah Rider, was arrested on charges of kidnapping. Fucking kidnapping!

Taylor, who allegedly threatened three people with a gun in an armed confrontation over -- get this -- an all-terrain vehicle on June 1, had two more assault charges filed against him yesterday. The 22-year-old faces three counts of aggravated assault, which, if convicted, could mean a lot of time being someone's bitch in the clink. (The spitting won't merit jail time, but he may want to consider not ever doing that again).

But let's back up a second. What the fuck was Taylor doing pulling a gun over a confrontation over some ATV? Did they skip his turn getting a ride on the sand dunes? As for 46 years...whoa. The chances of him serving those years are minimal. He's a star athlete and star athletes don't go to jail and especially don't drop the soap in the prison shower if they happen to end up there. I mean, Ray Lewis killed a guy and they gave him a slap on the wrist and a pack of Twizzlers for his wrongdoing.

As for Rider...kidnapping! Really? That's pretty messed up. He always had a troubled career, really adding to the whole Jail Blazers thing while in Portland. He's been busted before for being late to practice, spitting at fans (Sean Taylor-esque coincidentally) and smoking weed. But this takes the cake. He better have a really good lawyer and really good excuse (like that he was high as shit or something) to move on from this blunder. Bail's been set at $2 million, so he better get selling those drugs.

In other news: In a PR-move to sound even tougher, The Anaheim Mighty Ducks have decided to drop the "Mighty" from their name and just be called "The sissy-ass dudes in teal."

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