Thursday, January 12, 2006
They're not 'strippers', they're 'dancers'
Reports have surfaced that in January 2003, Stanford University football players entertained recruits by taking them twice to a strip club in San Francisco -- and both trips were paid for with athletic-department money.
"I ain't gonna pay for that shit," said Stanford spokesman and quarterback Trent Edwards, who did not take part in either outing. "Even if I was there, you think I'd drop my own money? You know how much it costs to get a good dance?"
According to a stripper, prices range from club to club, but one can expect to pay upwards of $100, "if they want the real deal."
(At this time we are unsure what "the real deal" means, but will investigate further).
No NCAA rules were violated, but Stanford officials were not happy about the incident.
"I'm really disappointed," said former Cardinal coach Buddy Teevens. "A strip club? What the fuck are they thinking? They could get some pretty decent hookers for only a few more bucks."
Perhaps hookers may have been a better idea for the sake of the team. Stanford went 5-6 this season and missed a bowl game. It turns out, ironically, that many of those potential recruits ended up at the University of Colorado, where player-hosts were smarter and got the recruits drunk and laid.
Stanford basketball coach Trent Johnson, who coached at the University of Nevada Reno before coming to the Bay Area, had a similar reaction.
"Yeah, they would have been better off picking up a ho," he said. "They got some good ones in Reno. But that shit's legal there, so I guess it's different."
The NCAA does have rules against hookers, though. So does the state of California.
No action has yet been taken against Stanford University, but the athletic department is thought to be courting ex-Colorado coach Gary Barnett so that recruits can get more than just a lap dance next time in Palo Alto.
Barnett was unavailable for comment because he was in a Denver strip-club getting "the real deal."
In other news: The Oakland Raiders are finalizing contracts with The Black Hole to co-coach the team next season.