Sunday, January 08, 2006
Playoffs? Yes, playoffs. Day Two
After nailing the two games yesterday, my ego has been inflated to that of Terrell Owens'. Here's The Big Picture's take on today's Wild Card matchups.
Panthers at Giants:
Young Eli Manning has come back to Earth after his early season success. Lately he's been getting picked off more frequently than he's getting laid. Tiki Barber, though, is running through defenses like a turnstile and may rush for 700 yards tomorrow.
But that's not likely against an underrated Carolina defense. Those boys in teal (yeah, minus two points for wearing fucking teal) play solid defense and have a weapon on offense named Jerry Rice. (Actually, it's Steve Smith, but he's playing just as well as that dude who used to catch balls, but now just dances in ballrooms).
All the ESPN "experts" (quick side note: Sean Salisbury has only mastered two things: average quarterbacking and being a jackass) except Ron Jaworski are picking Carolina on the road. And those who saw "Jaws" know that the shark was blown up in the end. ESPN's Jaws may blow himself up after making a terrible choice.
The Big Picture pick: Carolina 31, New York 20
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati:
Who put the muzzle on Chad Johnson? Because I'm begging you to take it off. He's the most entertaining thing in sports and he needs his voice heard. (And don't give me that shit about how he should let his actions on the field do the talking).
This game is a bad draw for the Bengals. Pittsburgh is one of those teams that nobody wants to face in the playoffs. Their stellar defense, led by Troy Polamalu -- who, by the way, is awesome! -- may be too much for the Bengals.
Loyal readers will know that I can't, won't, and shouldn't say nice things about Big Ben Roethlisberger. He isn't a very good player. Sorry to break the news.
But this Willie Parker dude is pretty tight and I've liked Hines Ward since his Georgia days when the guy played wide receiver and quarterback! How fucking cool is that?
I think the combination of the solid ground game (with that guy known as "The Bus," as well) and a formidable (two points for the big word) defense will be too much for Chad, Carson and the rest of the cast from "Whose line is it anyway?"
All the ESPN guys, minus Chris Mortensen, are going with the Steelers. I will too.
The Big Picture pick: Pittsburgh 24, Cincinnati 17
In other news: Iowa knocked Illinois from the land of the unbeatens, proving that teams with a bald guy can win.