Yankees vs. Canadiens: A case study in hate

The following is written by David Kamoe, a life-long sports fan whose sister is a close friend. David is an avid A's fan, wen to to high school with Drew Gooden and can't believe that Giants commentator Mike Krukow used to refer to the right-centerfield expanse at Pac Bell Park as "Finley Alley," referring to Steve Finley who remarkably wore a Giants uniform for a season. David will likely be stopping by these parts a few times a month, so treat him right. And no sister jokes.

The Yankees won their 27th Commissioner’s Trophy this fall. As an A’s fan, I am steaming hot mad. This seems to be the way of the MLB landscape where the top-moneyed teams buy up all the best free agents and those of us in small markets sit around and stew. Like this: I cannot express in enough words how completely awful it is that Alexander Emmanuel Rodriquez will receive an over-sized ring that he won’t wear next April. Stinks out loud it does.

Part of what makes the Yankees so awful or rather their fans so awful is that they’ve won now 27 World Series. They’ve been around since 1903 which makes them two years younger than the A’s franchise. (The A’s began in Philadelphia in 1901) They had “Murderer’s Row” and the “Bronx Zoo” and began poaching players from teams in full in the 1970’s. Some of it was other owners being cheap (Charlie Finley) and some of it was George Steinbrenner being a tyrant.

The latter is the leitmotif of the Yankees. Their infield includes the 252-million-dollar centaur, Mark Teixeria’s ugly mug, and Jeter. The pitching staff was created out of the ruins of the Indians and Blue Jays staffs (Sabathia and Burnett) and the rest of it is just old money.

By comparison, I offer the Montreal Canadiens. The most storied team in the history of the National Hockey, Les Canadiens have hoisted the Stanley Cup a total of 24 times since the inception of the NHL in 1918. Part of what made the Canadiens so dominant was that the NHL was a six-team league until 1967. In addition, there was a clause in the draft in the 60’s that allowed the Canadiens two picks in order to select French-Canadian born players.

Needless to say, the Canadiens won early and won often. Twice (the ’55-’56 season through the ’59-’60 season and ’75-’76 season through ’78-’79 season) the Habs won the Cup multiple times. These teams included a large collection of Hall of Fame players, coaches, and executives. The Canadiens are seen as the team to be against the NHL over. But the question is: Are they? I know that they were and are hated by Bruins fans. Ken Dryden’s great book The Game details how Dryden loved playing against the Bruins in the old Boston Garden because of the scope of the rivalry. I also know that the Habs are booed repeatedly by Leafs fans whenever they roll into Air Canada Centre.

The query that I have is: Who is more hated? Is it the Yankees with their entitled fan base, hyperventilating announcers, and disdain for long hair and beards? Or is it the Canadiens with the “bleu, blanc, et rouge” and the banners littering the rafters of the Bell Centre?

The Toronto Maple Sox?

The following is written by David Kamoe, a life-long sports fan whose sister is a close friend. David is an avid A's fan, wen to to high school with Drew Gooden and can't believe that Giants commentator Mike Krukow used to refer to the right-centerfield expanse at Pac Bell Park as "Finley Alley," referring to Steve Finley who remarkably wore a Giants uniform for a season. David will likely be stopping by these parts a few times a month, so treat him right. And no sister jokes.

The Leafs are 0-6-1 as of Saturday’s loss to the Rangers. Don Cherry has already begun decrying Ron Wilson and Brian Burke but it’s early and Don Cherry’s a Leafs fan deep down. (Note: Any Leafs fan that can confirm or refute the previous statement, please do so). It appears that the Leafs again have issues “in the nets” as former Sharks back-up goalie Vesa Toskala has been less than stellar to say the least. Furthermore, his back-up, Jonas Gustavsson alias “The Monster,” is injured. This -- it seems -- is just another year in the season of the Maple Leafs.

I have tried to figure out a baseball comparison to the Maple Leafs. My first thought was that they were the Boston Red Sox of hockey. They were the second-class team to the Montreal Canadiens and had a history of “almost” just as the Red Sox did. The Leafs did, however, win 13 Cups from 1918 to 1967 and were fairly dominant in the pre-expansion era.

My second thought was that they were the Chicago Cubs of baseball. This, I know, is a tough thing to saddle anyone with. I have a great deal of respect for all the history and lore that is the Chicago Cubs. They have my favorite ballpark (outside of the Coliseum) in Wrigley Field and as everyone knows, haven’t won the World Series since 1908. Furthermore, they haven’t even made the World Series since 1945. What turns me away from a full-on Cubs-Leafs comparison is that there is a part of the Cubs fandom that embraces being the “lovable losers” partying down at 1060 W. Addison 81 times a year. This does not seem to be the arc of the Leafs fan.

I am thus at a bit of a standstill. I know that all three cities have powerful sports media bases scrutinizing their teams. Until the Cubs were just sold, they were owned by the Chicago Tribune. It is my common belief that every last Red Sox game is beamed live and in HD on NESN. Each game has an hour long pre-and-post-game show covering about as much as ESPN tries to do with Monday Night Football. The Leafs are the official team of Toronto even if the Argonauts, Blue Jays, and Raptors continue to play. The only time this may have wavered was 1992 and 1993 when the Blue Jays won the World Series -- although Dougie Gilmour and the Leafs were in the midst of trying to reach the Stanley Cup Finals.

I would like to pose the following questions to Leafs fans: 1. Do you believe the Leafs are comparable to either the Red Sox or the Cubs? 2. Do you think that the Leafs are capable of winning the Cup sometime in the foreseeable future?

A quick revision: I wrote in a previous post that Maple Leaf Gardens was no longer standing. This is false and I will go see it when I’m in Toronto.

Break out the toques, Timbits, loud jackets, and Officer Koharsky jokes, it's hockey season

The following is written by David Kamoe, a life-long sports fan whose sister is a close friend. David is an avid A's fan, wen to to high school with Drew Gooden and can't believe that Giants commentator Mike Krukow used to refer to the right-centerfield expanse at Pac Bell Park as "Finley Alley," referring to Steve Finley who remarkably wore a Giants uniform for a season. David will likely be stopping by these parts a few times a month, so treat him right. And no sister jokes.

So, it’s hockey season, even if it isn’t quite cold enough for the snow to begin falling in Brampton. Since the season opened already and there’s no point in me trying to make predictions about a sport I didn’t grow up watching, here are a few broad generalizations:

1. The continued success of the “Original 6” is not just good for the NHL, it’s just plain good.

2. It has been 16 years since the Montreal Canadiens hoisted Lord Stanley’s Cup for the 24th time. No Canadian team has won it since and I hope that Vancouver, Edmonton, Calgary, Toronto, Montreal, or Ottawa does.

3. I will bore many a person pontificating on how I think the Winter Classic match-up should be Boston vs. Montreal instead of Boston vs. Philadelphia.

4. That being said, if Chris Pronger and Zedeno Chara get into a center ice/infield fight and they align the rink so that you can check someone into Pesky’s pole, I may be swayed differently.

5. Don Cherry will say something that will make me laugh, confuse me, and make me angry.

6. I will see promos for “The Hour with George Stroumboulopoulos” and being curious only in the time between when I see it and the close of the period.

7. Sean Avery will make someone angry. I don’t know who, I don’t know how, but this is about as easy a guess I can make as saying that Ichiro will have 200 hits again next year.

8. People -- and yes, it has already started: I saw Barry Melrose and John Buccigross discussing it on ESPN -- will proclaim that “The Great 8”/Alex Ovechkin could break Gretzky’s scoring record. This cannot be done, no matter how good Ovechkin is now and can be in the future. Gretzky was next-level good to the point that they changed the rules after him.

9. I will continue to be amazed/envious/slightly jealous of the awe and reverence that Canadians hold for Lord Stanley’s Cup. It will be for this reason that I will once again want the Canucks, Oilers, Flames, Leafs, Senators, or Canadiens to win the Cup if and only if the Sharks are unable to do so.

The Hamilton Coyotes?

The following is written by David Kamoe, a life-long sports fan whose sister is a close friend. David is an avid A's fan, wen to to high school with Drew Gooden and can't believe that Giants commentator Mike Krukow used to refer to the right-centerfield expanse at Pac Bell Park as "Finley Alley," referring to Steve Finley who remarkably wore a Giants uniform for a season. David will likely be stopping by these parts a few times a month, so treat him right. And no sister jokes.

All right, so I’m not a complete expert on the inner workings of the NHL or the U.S. dollar to Canadian dollar exchange rate. What I do know is that the NHL made a giant mistake in allowing the Winnipeg Jets to be “relocated” to Glendale/Phoenix back in 1996. There are various reasons for this including: poor location, little-to-no fan base, and a money-losing franchise.

All told, each of these issues is interwoven. The snowy landscape of Winnipeg, Manitoba and the Winnipeg Arena fostered the careers of Teemu Selanne, Nikolai Khabibulin, Kris Draper, and Keith Tkachuk. They also had a nice, simple logo featuring the team’s name in white and a jet airliner. Plus, they represented Central Canada, an area generally not noticed by most Americans.

In truth, more people are familiar with the city of Phoenix, Ariz. What they are not as familiar with is Glendale, Ariz. I can’t imagine Gary Bettman and the powers that be in the NHL sitting around and thinking “Hockey in Phoenix? Sounds good.” Phoenix is the home of Spring Training baseball, the Suns, and the Cardinals. It is not the home of hockey.

Unsurprisingly, the Coyotes do not draw well and their losing money faster than a drunken CEO on a craps run in Vegas. Does that mean there aren’t a few Arizonans who have adopted the Coyotes as their own? No, but I would be very surprised. Frankly, I can only imagine that transplants from cold weather U.S. states or ex-pat Canadians are Coyotes fans.

This leads to the current situation where Research in Motion Ltd. head Jim Basille is trying to relocate the team to Hamilton, Ontario. Basille has been meeting roadblocks from the NHL, Glendale city officials, and other owners. Pushback by the city of Glendale combined with the Maple Leafs lack of desire for more competition in-province seems reasonable. The unreasonable comes from the NHL who seems to think it can have a hockey organization flourish in Arizona.

The alternative as presented by Basille is to move the Coyotes to Hamilton, Ontario. The Leafs are against this because they feel it provides extra competition since Hamilton is much closer to Toronto than Ottawa. It is my personal opinion that this would be a good idea if not for another idea: give the Coyotes back to Winnipeg.

The city of Winnipeg and the province of Manitoba is not exactly a vacation destination. The only celebrity I know of from Winnipeg is former “Let’s Make a Deal” host Monty Hall. The only professional team in Winnipeg right now is the CFL’s Blue Bombers who recently had the good sense to not sign Adam “Pacman” Jones.

Basille’s motto for the Coyotes to Hamilton is “Make it Seven” referring to having seven teams in Canada. I agree, I just think that the seventh team should be in Winnipeg and he should push for an eighth in Quebec City. What say you, Jim Basille?

'Hartford...? The Whale...? They only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime.'

The following is written by David Kamoe, a life-long sports fan whose sister is a close friend. David is an avid A's fan, wen to to high school with Drew Gooden and can't believe that Giants commentator Mike Krukow used to refer to the right-centerfield expanse at Pac Bell Park as "Finley Alley," referring to Steve Finley who remarkably wore a Giants uniform for a season. David will likely be stopping by these parts a few times a month, so treat him right. And no sister jokes.

I am a fan of every Kevin Smith movie except Jersey Girl. To be fair though, Kevin Smith isn’t a fan of Jersey Girl and he directed it. One of Kevin Smith’s fine films is Mallrats, the first acting turn of My Name is Earl’s Jason Lee. During the movie, Jason Lee utters the following line: “Breakfast’s come and go Rene. Now Hartford? The Whale? Hey, they only beat Vancouver once maybe twice in a lifetime.”

The Whale to which Jason Lee refers is not Shamu nor Moby Dick but the Hartford Whalers Hockey Club. Added into the NHL from the WHL in 1979, the Whalers were the lone professional sports franchise in the state of Connecticut. For 18 years, they existed mainly as a franchise with a cool logo and their own theme song. Then came the year 1997 and the Whalers were taken away from Hartford. I do not remember this well as a young sports fan in California. I generally focused on football and baseball with a casual interest in basketball.

Seeing Mallrats introduced me to “The Whale” and in turn that Gordie Howe finished his illustrious career wearing a Whalers sweater. I also learned that the Hartford Whalers had become the Carolina Hurricanes. This annoys me as sports purist because I think of hockey as a sport played primarily in the 13 Canadian provinces and the upper Midwestern and New England United States. Proof of this can be found in the NCAA hockey teams routinely in the “Frozen Four.” Find me a UCLA, a “U-Dub” on that list and I’ll be very surprised.

This is a part of the larger question of the NHL being in far too many “Sunshine States” and the “Make it seven” campaign headed by Jim Balsillie from Research in Motion Ltd. I support M. Balsillie’s efforts and frankly think there should be eight teams in Canada again.

Then again, the city of Hartford threw a parade when “The Whale” made the playoffs one year. Made the playoffs! Toronto wouldn’t have people marching down Yonge Street and they haven’t won the Cup since 1967!

On the flipside, there was a recent New York Times article about fans in Hartford who still go out to the Hartford Civic Center wearing Whalers sweaters to see the local minor league team. Furthermore, a quick viewing of a University of Connecticut men’s basketball game will reveal Whalers banners still hanging from the rafters.

Put on the old 45 of “Brass Bonanza” Whalers fan. Maybe one day Gary Bettman will retire and someone smarter will bring back “The Whale.” Then Rene and Brodie can go to breakfast.

Unadulterated Ice

The following is written by David Kamoe, a life-long sports fan whose sister is a close friend. David is an avid A's fan, wen to to high school with Drew Gooden and can't believe that Giants commentator Mike Krukow used to refer to the right-centerfield expanse at Pac Bell Park as "Finley Alley," referring to Steve Finley who remarkably wore a Giants uniform for a season. David will likely be stopping by these parts a few times a month, so treat him right. And no sister jokes.

The NHL network does not have a glut of programming available to it. Unlike the NFL and MLB networks, the NHL network generally shows a collection of 30-minute or hour-long specials talking up players, coaches, teams, or announcers. The only time it varies is during the All-star break when they heavily covered the events in Montreal, during the draft, and simulcasting hockey from TSN, CBC, and occasionally Rogersnet. All this is fine. The NHL network is not an old entity and in time may develop programming much the same as the NFL and MLB networks. On July 19, 2009, however, they took a new step and in doing so provided a thought.

The NHL network replayed the fifth and final game of the 1979 Stanley Cup finals between the Montreal Canadiens and the New York Rangers. The game was played at Montreal’s venerable Forum. This was the first time I have ever sat down and watched a game featuring one of hockey’s hollowed buildings. Part of what drew me to it was former Canadiens goalie Ken Dryden. Dryden, who was playing in his last game that night, went on to pen the book The Game. If you haven’t read it: do so. It is a fantastic look at both hockey, Montreal, and the inner workings of perhaps the most storied franchise in sports.

What stood out for me was not Dryden in the nets, Lemarie and Robinson on the wings, or Shutt and Savard up front. What caught my eye was what was not there. The boards at the Montreal Forum had not one advertisement on them. The ice only bore the classic logo of the Canadiens at center ice. Only by looking into the stands did someone see an ad for Molson beer.

These days, every arena, ballpark, and court has advertisements all over them. This is especially confusing in hockey where the contrast of the ice and the vulcanized rubber puck is how the sport can be followed on TV. Sure, the advent of HD has helped immeasurably but the ads are too much.

Going back to Dryden and The Game, there is an anecdote in it where Dryden talks about playing in the 1976 hockey game between Canada and the USSR. The game was to be televised on CBS but the NHL felt it needed more income. To supplement their income, they sold advertising space on the boards. The CBS brass was so incensed that they deliberately shot the game so as to not show the ads. I still shake my head when I think about this fact.

The problem is that there is too much money to be had with advertising and the NHL is not a cash cow. That being said, the NFL -- which does consider itself an endless moneymaker—is completely dictated by ads. Thus, the Super Bowl is a stop and start event better watched at home and the seventh game of the Stanley Cup is an edge-of-your-seat thriller good on TV and great in person. C’est la vie.

Saving the NHL

The following is written by David Kamoe, a life-long sports fan whose sister is a close friend. David is an avid A's fan, wen to to high school with Drew Gooden and can't believe that Giants commentator Mike Krukow used to refer to the right-centerfield expanse at Pac Bell Park as "Finley Alley," referring to Steve Finley who remarkably wore a Giants uniform for a season. David will likely be stopping by these parts a few times a month, so treat him right. And no sister jokes.

Okay, maybe “saving” is a strong word -- look at it as helping to get the NHL back on ESPN. I mean, John Saunders loves the hockey talk just as much as Barry Melrose’s cream pinstripe suit in HD does.

What follows then is a quick and dirty plan to contract and/or move teams in the NHL to take it from a thirty team league down to twenty-two teams. This is brought on by the chatter around the Phoenix Coyotes nee Winnipeg Jets filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Most people -- including interested buyer Jim Balsillie, chairman of Blackberry/Research in Motion Ltd. -- want to move the Coyotes to Hamilton, ON. As a hockey novice, but a history intermediate and a slight sports purist, I have other ideas.

Firstly, the Coyotes should be returned to the place of their birth: Winnipeg, Manitoba. The next several moves are all entirely too easy as all the following teams would be contracted: Florida Panthers, Tampa Bay Lightning, Atlanta Thrashers, Nashville Predators, Columbus Blue Jackets, Anaheim (Mighty) Ducks, Los Angeles Kings, and Minnesota Wild. I understand that the Kings were in the first wave of expansion in 1967, I don’t care. If it weren’t for Gretzky, nobody in L.A. would ever have cared about hockey.

To salve the wound of ripping the Wild from Minnesota, the Northstars will be returned and the Dallas Stars shall cease to exist. The general rule of thumb with NHL expansion should be this: look at the NCCA top 25 hockey standings and try to find a warm weather college. Go ahead. When you do, you can expand there. Along with the Northstars relocating back to Minnesota, the Whalers will be reunited with Hartford, the aforementioned Coyotes with Winnipeg, and the Avalanche to Quebec City.

Additionally, the NHL shall rename the Western and Eastern Conferences the Campbell and Wales Conferences respectively. You must embrace your individuality Gary Bettman. The A’s aren’t ducking the fact they wore Kelly Green, Fort Knox Gold, and Wedding Gown White. Just another Charley Finley strategy; although to be fair Charley O. also thought having a Donkey as a mascot and not paying Catfish Hunter and Reggie to stay was a good idea.

Sorry, back to the point. The most important part of the NHL makeover is getting back on ESPN. Yes, I know that ESPN runs the sports world to the point that it feels like the Red Sox and Yankees are playing every day and the only teams that matter on the West Coast are the Lakers, Dodgers, Angels, Raiders, and 49ers. That’s true. It is also true, however, that as good a job as Versus does, people are not seeking it out unless they're hockey fans. As a result, coverage of the NHL on ESPN is usually limited to ESPN news or an occasional segment with Barry Melrose’s suit (see above). The NHL needs exposure and ESPN can provide it 24/7. All it takes is a phone call and hello again “NHL2night.”

53 wins, 117 points and a regular season to remember gets blown to smithereens in six games

Disastrous, horrendous, gut-wrenching would probably be the best ways to describe the San Jose Sharks' series loss to the Anaheim Ducks.

The Bay Area's best hope for anything resembling sports success, the Sharks took a 53-18-11 record into the playoffs and like they've done so many times, completely collapsed in the playoffs.

Goodnight you sweet creatures. May you not epically disappoint next season.

That's what the excitement for Lindsay Soto was all about?

Remember Lindsay Soto? The FSN/Versus blonde, maybe fake-titted hottie that was crowned Would you do... champ? She's back in the news...

All I heard while listening to local Sports Radio yesterday morning was how hot she was during the Sharks/Ducks telecast. Callers and the show's hosts were saying how she overshadowed a good Sharks victory.

So, naturally, all we could think about for the rest of the day was coming home, finding good YouTube footage from Tuesday's game, and lighting some candles while Jergens and Kleenex kept us company.

After some digging, Deadspin gave us the video we were looking for.



THAT'S IT?! That's like high-school cleavage. I would rather masturbate to Baseball Tonight than that. People excited about that are people stuck in a sexless marriage who still haven't discovered that there's free porn on the Internet.

The real reason to vote for Obama

Now that Barack Obama has wrapped up the Democratic nomination, we're prepared to sit down and make the hard decision of who to vote for in the Presidential Election - Obama or John McCain. And since we're tired of deciding who to vote for based on looks, clothes, money and how hot their wives are, and the only thing we really know anything about is sports, we figured there's no better way to decide than by comparing the sports teams from their home states.

Obama hails from Illinois, home to the Bears, Cubs, White Sox, Bulls, Blackhawks and Fire (soccer. The Fire is a soccer team. We had to look it up too). McCain is from Arizona, home to the Cardinals, Diamondbacks, Suns and Coyotes. Let's compare to see which teams are better.

Football:

Illinois:
Chicago Bears. Established in 1919. Eight NFL championships and one Super Bowl title. Twenty-five primary Hall of Famers. Known for the Super Bowl Shuffle and "Daaa Bears" routines on SNL. 2007 record: 7-9, 4th place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2006, NFC Champions.

Arizona:
Arizona Cardinals. Established in 1898. Two NFL championships, zero Super Bowl titles. Twelve Hall of Famers. Known for having a shitty owner and ugly uniforms. Play games in a stadium that resembles a spaceship. Have only been in Arizona since 1988. 2007 record: 8-8, 2nd place. Most recent playoff appearance: 1998, lost in Divisional Round.

Edge: Illinois. The Bears have a lot more titles and recent success. This could swing in the next few years.

Baseball:

Illinois:
Chicago Cubs. Established in 1876. Two World Series Titles. Nine Hall of Famers. Known for curses, World Series droughts, Wrigleyville, Harry Caray and Bartman. Currently in 1st place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2007, lost in NLDS.
Chicago White Sox. Established 1900. Three World Series Titles. Five Hall of Famers. Known for the Black Sox Scandal, wearing shorts, ranting managers. Currently in 1st place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2005, won World Series.

Arizona:
Arizona Diamondbacks. Established in 1998. One World Series Title. Zero Hall of Famers. Known for changing colors, building through the farm system, trading away the mother-lode for Dan Haren. Currently in 1st place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2007, lost in NLCS.

Edge: Illinois. 2 is better than 1.

Basketball:

Illinois:
Chicago Bulls. Established in 1966. Six NBA titles. Four Hall of Famers. Known for Michael Jordan, Hanes underwear, three-peats, black shoes. 07-08 season: 33-49, 4th place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2006-2007, lost in Conference Semis.

Arizona:
Phoenix Suns. Established in 1968. Zero NBA titles. Two Hall of Famers. Known for Charles Barkley, the Gorilla, run-'n'-gun offense. 07-08 season: 55-27, 2nd place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2007-2008, lost in 1st round.

Edge: Push. Chicago has the history, but Phoenix is a lot better right now. And the gorilla is freakin' rad!

Hockey:

Illinois: Chicago Blackhawks. Established in 1926. Three Stanley Cups Championships. Twenty Hall of Famers. Known for being a member of the original six, a borderline racist logo and being named the worst franchise in professional sports by ESPN. 2007-2008 season: 40-34-8, 3rd place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2001-2002, lost in 1st round.

Arizona: Phoenix Coyotes. Established in 1972 (as the Winnipeg Jets). Zero Stanley Cup Championships. Four Hall of Famers. Known for being coached by the Great One, never making it out of the 1st round of the playoffs. Moved to Phoenix in 1996. 2007-2008 season: 38-37-7, 4th place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2001-2002, lost in first round.

Edge: Illinois. This is tough. They both pretty much suck, but at least Chicago has been good in the past.

Soccer:

Illinois:
Chicago Fire. Founded in 1997. One MLS Cup. Known for being named after a disaster, winning the US Open Cup, we have no idea. Currently in 2nd place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2007, lost in semifinals.

Arizona:
Nothing.

Edge: Illinois. By default.

So that makes it 4 for Illinois and 0 for Arizona, with one push. Well, friends, you heard it here first: Vote for Obama, because the sports in Illinois are better than in Arizona.

Except the college sports, that might change things. But it would be like 30 different schools to research and honestly it's not worth doing all that for one measly little blog post that already took a long time to put together. Oh and there's also the WNBA, but really, does that count? We don't even know if they have teams in these states. I guess there's Arena Football, too. And what about professional lacrosse or softball, or even high school sports? I guess we could say that Arizona has spring training, so that's like way more baseball than in Illinois, but then we'd maybe have to give a point to Arizona, and honestly we didn't want to do that because the whole point of this was to promote Obama....

Barbara Bush gettin' it ON

This could be interesting.

Has a New York Ranger captured first daughter Barbara Bush's heart?

Fans spotted Bush "dancing, drinking beers and cheering on" the team at Madison Square Garden Sunday night - in addition to sporting "two gold rings on her left ring finger." We're told Bush "recently became a die-hard Rangers fan and befriended a few of
the players." We don't know if her bling was a gift from a player or if her on-again, off-again beau Jay Blount is back in the picture, but a rep for Bush assured us "she is not engaged."

We didn't know President B had a daughter, let alone twins. We get the impression they're mischievauous, do blow and one of them has had an abortion. Wouldn't that be ironic.

Oh, and let's call it three Long Islands. In this picture though, make it six.

As for the player, your guess is as good as ours. But we think it'd be funny if it were Jaromir Jagr. We can't believe he's still playing.

(Reach-around to Big Ben).

Wayne Gretzky is 'Takin' Care of Business'

(Click for larger view)

Sometimes a gift just falls in your lap. Maybe it's karma. Maybe it's because it's Wednesday. Who really knows?

But that tough-to-see image is Wayne Gretzky's playlist, courtesy of Coyotes Trax. What is Coyotes Trax? We better let them explain.

With "Coyotes Trax," you can purchase your favorite Coyotes players' entire playlist, or individual songs at the iTunes Store (www.itunes.com). You can also enjoy a wide range of music including songs which get players pumped in the locker room as well as the music they enjoy away from the rink.

We're the least bit surprised the Great One listens to Bachman-Turner Overdrive. "Takin' Care of Business" fucking kills.

Though Gretzky having a Sarah McLachlan song on his playlist definitely threw us for a loop.