Monday, August 31, 2009

Hey, Paul Byrd's back in the bigs! And he'll clean toilets if he has to!

A big welcome back to pitcher Paul Byrd and his super-cool windup. Byrd, who hadn't pitched since last September, fired six scoreless innings for Boston in yesterday's win.

And after the game, he reminded us why people missed Paul Byrd (we don't think people actually missed Paul Byrd. But maybe some did. We did. Paul Byrd is our favorite pitcher in the history of pitchers. That's probably an overstatement but we're writing this Sunday night and we think there's a woodpecker inside our head. A really pissed-off woodpecker who's pecking like we just boinked his daughter):
''I'm just so excited to be back. I want a World Series ring,'' he said. ''Hopefully I can help this team get there. I'll clean toilets if I have to, and I told them that.''


GMoney said...

Clean toilets? Check.
Pitch like a fag? Check.
Past issues with masturbation? Wrote a book about it, check.
Looks like he eats his boogers? Check again.

He's a renaissance man.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Faggot ass motherfuckasss