Tuesday, August 25, 2009

'Have a good night,' Cliff Lee and puberty


The saying, "Have a good night," is really starting to piss me off. Friend of mine say it, I say it and just about everyone says it. But when you're getting out of a cab at 2 a.m. and your friend who's going to the next stop says, "Have a good night," that fucking pisses me off.

I'm going to go inside, brush my teeth and undress. Let me tell you, there is nothing exciting about brushing your teeth. I'm not about to brush my teeth and magically get a blowjob at the same time to ensure I have a "good night."

"See ya later" is way underrated.

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Cliff Lee has turned our fantasy team from "mind-fuckingly bad" to "really fucking bad" in just a month. Since his trade to Philly, Lee is 5-0 with a 0.68 ERA in five starts. He also might be running for mayor.

Um, Cy Young? Both Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain haven't picked up wins in about a month, Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright could split votes and Jason Marquis doesn't have the record or ERA to be a real factor.

The chances that Cliff Lee win the award are slim. Unlike the MVP, the Cy Young usually translates to the best numbers rather than the most valuable pitcher. Edge goes to Carpenter if we're going on numbers.

But Lee has turned Philly from a playoff team to World-Series contender. Again. The Phillies are easily the front-runner in the NL right now. Fuck the city of Philadelphia. Fuck brotherly love. And fuck the Liberty Bell.

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Drank some rum and cokes this weekend. Sophomoric drink, but tasty nonetheless. If we're at a bar, we tend to order beer or vodka tonics if we're going the liquor route.

If you're ordering a well drink, what are you going with? No more Greyhounds for us. Last time we drank those we puked all over ourselves and got kicked out of a bar.

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It's strange to see kids run the course of puberty during the life of a TV show.

First, a word about puberty: everyone hits it, it's part of life, yet puberty ravages kids in a major way. There is nothing good about a kid going through puberty. Acne, squeaky voice, socially awkward. Just a horrible phase. These kids have so much going on -- school, friends, dances -- and then puberty just tears a hole in a them.

In Weeds Shane was a cute little kid from Seasons 1-4 and then Season 5 comes along and we're now looking at Awkward Shane who you want to hit over the head with a vacuum cleaner. Not really a little kid anymore. Same shit happened to Walt on Lost, but Lost sorta wrote off Walt because that storyline just wasn't really going anywhere.

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Speaking of puberty, how 'bout the Little League World Series? Yes, puberty ravages the International Pool, too.

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More frustrating: a baseball team that can't hit or a baseball team that can't pitch? We've been watching the Giants all season, so we'd probably go with the former. They get a leadoff double and then watch three batters come to the plate who can't even advance him to third. That just makes you want to harm a small animal.

Though a team that can't pitch is prone to losing streaks. A team that can't hit or pitch is called the Washington Nationals.

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Here's reason No. 5,421 why not to live with your girlfriend: Rachel Getting Married gets on your Netflix queue.

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Hot chick? Here ya go. (Sorta, kinda SFW).

7 comments:

GMoney said...

If CC didn't win the Cy Young last year, an inbred hick like Lee doesn't have a chance.

Shane is the only voice of reason on that show. They really need to get out of Mexico for good. And they should have someone do blackface every week.

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