Friday, August 07, 2009

Fantastic. Michael Crabtree and his entourage are fucking nuts.

Michael Crabtree and his "advisers" are holding out for lots of money and threatening to sit out this year and re-enter the 2010 draft. Arnaz Battle, meanwhile, is still a starting receiver. Here's how the negotiations are going:

Niners Camp: Hi, Michael, how are you?

Crabtree Brigade: Not good man.

Niners Camp: We know you want big bucks. How does No. 10 money sound?

Crabtree Brigade: It sounds like Eminem doing an Earth, Wind and Fire cover.

Niners Camp: What?

Crabtree Brigade: Doesn't sound good. I want more than Heyward-Bey.

Niners Camp: What pick was he?

Crabtree Brigade: Seven.

Niners Camp: And you were, what? Ten. How 'bout No. 10 money?

Crabtree Brigade: But I'm better than Darrius.

Niners Camp: We know! That's why we picked you. But we can only give you No. 10 money.

Crabtree Brigade: But I was projected to go higher than him. In mocks. In one mock, I was the top pick. I want No. 1 money.

Niners Camp: How 'bout No. 10 money?

Crabtree Brigade: We'll hold out.

Niners Camp: We'll give you $15 million over five years.

Crabtree Brigade: What's Darrius getting?

Niners Camp: It doesn't matter. FIFTEEN MILLION DOLLARS!!!

Crabtree Brigade: What did Stafford get?

Niners Camp: How about instead of giving you No. 10 money, we give you something a little bit lower than No. 9 money and higher than No. 11 money.

Crabtree Brigade: Maybe.

Niners Camp: Then it's settl...

Crabtree Brigade: WAIT! You tricked me. I'm not going for No. 10 money.

Niners Camp: What if we give you top-five money, but then you have to give some back?

Crabtree Brigade: No.

Niners Camp: How about No. 10 money and we'll get one of the Gold Rush to blow you after every home game?

Crabtree Brigade: No. Maybe.


rstiles said...

Prior to the draft, Browns new coach Eric Mangini said that Crabtree was a headcase -- Texas Tech's Leach was pissed off about Mangini's comments - looks like Mangenius was correct...

Also, maybe Al Davis isn't as nuts as we thought...maybe he knew that Heyward-Bey would be easier to sign and he didn't have to put up with Crabtree's antics...

JMC said...

NFL rookies should make the league minimum like they do in MLB

Bazooka Jones said...

I don't know about the minimum, since that's reserved for kickers, but they should be making a tenth of what they are now, if that.

Also, Hey-Bay is gonna have more trouble surprising people now that he was taken so high, but he'll still turn some heads (if Garcia plays).

NFL Picks said...

Crabtree needs to get in and prove himself before hes even worth all the money hes bound to get. I think players instead of sitting out camps to hold out, they should participate in camps and practice and threaten to hold out the season. It gives them more leverage too, having already created a position in the games for themselves.

Sports Chump said...

Remind me not to contact Crabtree's people for financial advise.

Hey, man. Love the site. Would love to exchange blogrolls if you're so inclined.

Crabtree's people say it's definitely the wrong thing to do.


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