Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The SI Swimsuit Issue: not really very good at all unless you like stuff that isn't very good at all
All this talk about the release of the 2009 SI Swimsuit Issue is sorta pissing me off. I love Sports Illustrated. Have saved nearly every cover over the last five years. Good writers, good stories, good pictures.
Yet the Swimsuit Issue is bullshit, for three main reasons:
1. The bikinis aren't revealing
2. The women are waaaaay overrated
3. The women are waaaaay overrated
Don't get me wrong -- I would do Bar Rafaeli. I might even be excited about it. But much like why I'm not that into Gisele, most "super" models are super skinny, super flat and super natural (but not in an E.T. kinda way but in a my-tits-aren't-really-big-or-well-shaped kind of way).
Many unknown bikini and "web" models are a million times more bangable than any girl in SI's magazine. Check out this site (skimpy bikinis -- OK for work if you work ONLY at a strip club, porn shop or elementary school) and you'll find a gallery full of babes you'd rather masturbate to.
Love the Swimsuit Issue because it's a connection to sports? You know what else is a connection to sports? This little URL called Big Tits in Sports.(I won't link to it because if you're not blocked at work, you're screwed and if you are blocked at work, you'll get this message: "Blocked due to adult content: cock in ass.")
Danica Patrick in a bikini is fine. NBA cheerleaders are hot. Supermodels in body paint almost create a boner. But people are giddy about this issue. Instead, open Firefox and type in "bikini." Surely something sexier and more boner-popping than the SI Swimsuit Issue will pop up. (Get it?! Pop up!!!)