Monday, October 09, 2006

Ugggghhhh, Joe Buck

Up in Seattle, with the Seahawks idle, we got the Eagles-Cowboys love affair on TV. Now the game was remarkably close, coming down to a game-sealing INT off of Drew Bledsoe in Philadelphia's endzone. Exciting, right? And there was also this hyped story line about Cowboys OLB and Temple alum, Al Singleton, returning to the city where he played his college ball.

But with the Fox team calling the action -- Joe buck (fuck you, asshole) and Troy Aikman (homer), of course -- you would never have known these teams were playing a competitive football game.

Joe Buck makes the final drive, where Dallas has a legitimate chance to win a big game, sound like a first quarter punt. The man has no inflection in his voice.

Because of this, we've thought to generate a list of things that would be more entertaining, or that we would rather do, than listen to Joe Buck call a sporting event.

Here we go.

-Scrape our knees on uneven pavement.
-Have a six-hour layover in the Tulsa, Okla. airport. (Thanks JMC).
-Read "The Scarlet Letter."
-Watch "The Scarlet Letter."
-Stare at an abandoned warehouse.
-Clean the shower.
-Listen to Marvin Gaye's "Sexual Healing" with our grandparents.
-Explosive diarrhea.
-Have an intellectual conversation with an infant.
-Read a Steve Bisheff column.
-Milk a cow.
-Get dragged to see a romantic comedy.
-Swim with sharks.
-Eat dog.
-Move to Antarctica
-Hear Tim McCarver speak!

Now it's your turn, folks. We know you're funnier than we are anyway. So drop a comment listing some things you would rather do than listen to Joe Buck, well, do anything.


NFL Adam said...

How about coaching the Raiders.

Mini Me said...

I hate Joe Buck with a passion. Whenever he is calling your team's game and your team is doing poorly he always find a way to rub it in. It really bothers me. Aikman is really good, but Buck sucks.

JMC said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
JMC said...

- read a Jenn Sterger article without the accompanying pictures
- go to work
- become a Detroit Lions fan
- work for George Steinbrenner
- Watch a WNBA game
- put a nail through my eye
- sit next to carrot-top on a cross-atlantic flight
- high-dive into a swimming pool filled with rusty nails and shards of broken glass

Anonymous said...

Lick Mark Foley's keyboard

Anonymous said...

Buck and Troy both suck. They irritate me so much that I turn the sound off.

Anonymous said...

he's a total douchebag.. it's obvious he's too much of a pussy to have played any sports... he's so full of himself he sounds like Alex Trebek's gay lover

MICHAEL said...

After Vikings wide receiver Randy Moss simulated mooning the Green Bay crowd in the end zone, Buck called it a "disgusting act." The moon was allegedly an attempt to respond to Packer fans, who traditionally moon the Vikings players aboard the team bus, a fact of which Buck declined to tell.[4] McCombs asked FOX to prevent Buck from broadcasting other Viking playoff games, a request FOX denied. If it werent for his father getting him the cushy announcing position, Joe would likely be serving someone "Moons over Miami" right about now.

Anonymous said...

Buck is such a neophite , when it comes to announcing mlb games.
He is completely anti sox even though they are the far more dominent team. Buck needs to go fuck himm self in the ass.

Anonymous said...

i hear joe buck and troy aikman are gay lovers they are proably spooning in the both at green bay right now

Anonymous said...

-Eat Dirt
-Lick the Toilet
-Spray pepper spray in my own eyes
-Stare at the sun
- Drink Goat urine
- Watch an entire MLB game on TV
- Lay Bare in the snow