Monday, October 23, 2006

"Our Country" would be better without you, John Mellencamp

Mellencamp, right, has awfully buff lady friends

We guarantee you've seen the commercial. You know, the one for some truck company (probably Chevy) and in the background we're enlightened by the musical overtures of John Mellencamp telling us all about our fucking country.

But Sunday, those at Comerica Park in Detroit, as well as anyone tuned in to the Fox telecast, got to see Mellencamp live in action as he sang his hit new song before Game 2 of the World Series.

There are just all sorts of thoughts swirling through our heads.

-Why was John fucking Mellencamp (and where the hell did John Cougar go?) singing to a Detroit crowd? Mellencamp is from Indiana, and while those on either the East or West Coasts seem to collapse all of the midwestern cities and states as one in the same, we're intelligent enough to know that Detroit is not in Indiana.

-And couldn't the folks at Comerica just put up that commercial on the jumbo-tron or something. That commercial must be aired about 68 times per sportscast. Over the weekend, we probably heard the song "Our Country" more times than Mellencamp has sex partners. We could probably recite the trite, clichéd lyrics from memory. Though we still couldn't be 100% sure what the commercial is actually for. Proves how effective advertising is.

-But of all the people to sing a song at the World Series, John Mellencamp? And "Our Country?" If he would have instead busted out "Wild Night," we probably wouldn't be ragging on Mellencamp today.

Though don't think Fox can escape the ridicule either. Loyal Big Picture readers know how much we hate Fox, and we somehow think that those at Fox headquarters were behind getting Mellencamp to sing. Kinda the same way we blamed ESPN's Stuart Scott for showing a rap video at halftime of Monday Night Football.

And hey, "From the East Coast, to the West Coast," John Mellencamp can go suck a dick.

In other World Series news: Detroit beat St. Louis 3-1 Sunday after the Tigers' Kenny Rogers knocked out a camera man to pump him up before his start.

7 comments:

JMC said...

my guess is that Chevy (or Ford, Dodge, GMC, whatever the fuck company it was) also had a hand in getting John to the mic.

Also, how about that Pine tar - we knew Kenny Rogers was an asshole, but a cheater too?

insomniac said...

Selig whored himself out to Fox. Fox whored themselves out to Chevy. Now Selig has a painful blister on his taint.

Sorry, that's an image that should never enter anyone's mind.

Uncle Smokey Stank said...

What puzzles me about that assclowns commercial is the footage of hippies dancing. I see hippies I think

1. VW vans & weeks without a shower.

2. Eric Cartman and his Hippie Digger.

Ziomal said...

Very nice! I like it. create your own word search puzzles

Anonymous said...

I DONT WHY YOU HAVE TO PUT DOWN MELLENCAMP OTHER THAN THE SIMPLE FACT MAYBE THAT YOURE JUST JEALOUS.

Anonymous said...

I don't like John Cougwhure's Meloncamp's song "This Is Are Country" for hundreds of reasons. Here are a few. One: he simply ripped off Woodie Guthrie. This Land Is Our Land. Two. He's too stupid to know. Three. He sold out and rockers shouldn't sell out to GM. Four. He can't say the word "our." He sings this is are country. Or this is R country, which would make a better jingle for Toys R Us. Five. He purposely was late coming out to play during the World Series. He did that on purpose. Six. He fanticizes that he has helped farmers. Seven. The song is a worn song that derives from other, better songs and isn't really the least bit original. Eight. If he didn't say "are" instead of "our" it would be tolerable.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with the anonymous comment that you guys are just jealous of John Mellencamp. Have you guys even bothered to ask what inspired him to write the song? He wrote it in response to a comment the president made in relation to the dixie chicks. The president said "that's the price of freedom." This is why John wrote the song. It was his way of saying that we should be open mindeded about the country..."There's room enough here for science to live/there's room enough for religion to live." He's suggesting that theres room in this country for different ideas and opinions. And I'm guessing that chevy picked him up for their commercial because of how powerful the message is in his song. Maybe you guys should do your homework before you call down such an inspirational artist.