Dwayne Polee Jr., a freshman, is just a tad ahead of his Westchester High School buddies then. Polee, 14 and 6-6, has a beard that looks like this and probably doesn't fit in to too many lockers.
He's also made a verbal commitment to play for the USC basketball team. Either Tim Floyd, the Trojans coach, is fucking insane, or this kid has got more game than Jesus Shuttlesworth.
Either way, Polee Jr. is 14. Fourteen! We've compiled a small list of things he, being a 14-year-old, has probably never done:
- Truly enjoyed the beauty of a new Mach 3 razor.
- Attended an R-rated movie without his parents
- Driven a car
- Driven a car when he really shouldn't have (you know, like after completing an Edward 40-hands episode -- cause he probably doesn't even know of "Edward Scissorhands" or of the malted greatness of a $1.99 Olde English 40.)
- Shit blood
- Tapped a keg
- Smoked pot
- Sold pot
- Blown chunks in the middle of a Taco Bell
- "Giggiddy, giggiddy!"
- With a straight face, told a stripper his name is Solomon.
- Siphoned gas from a Federal Officer's car
- Been in a "compromising situation"
- Shared a laugh with some Hooters waitresses
- Read "Hamlet"
- Eaten soup from a bread bowl
That's what we weren't doing when we were 14, anyway. Then again, we also weren't making verbal commitments before playing even one high school game. We're gonna go ahead and say Tim Floyd's a fucking lunatic.
As for the kid in the photo, well, we haven't a clue who he is. But when we typed in "14-year old kid" in to Google Images, this is what we got. Hell, for all we know, this is what our boy Dwayne Polee Jr really looks like: spiky hair, too much gel, and, of course, braces. Ah, braces. The staple of any 14-year old’s physical appearance.
And please add to our list by blowing up the comments section much like the way Dennis Green blew up just a few precious days ago.