But the grown-up version of Halloween is still great. Rather than getting candy and sugary treats, we get beer and other liquor-filled drinks. People still dress up in fun costumes -- like ghosts and goblins -- but now the girls go as hookers, sluts, call girls, mistresses, Paris Hilton, whores, escorts, tramps, strippers and madams.
We're not complaining.
But we've always liked to think we're more creative than that. We want to have a good costume for the festivities this year and we're here for you too!
If you don't have your award-winning, panty-dropping costume yet, allow us to help. Here are some ideas for costumes for that sports fan out there.
-A fan that "can't bear to watch." (Wear a losing team -- say the Detroit Lions -- shirt and simply put a paper bag over your head. Optional: write something on it like, "Just Shoot Me.")
-Fred Smoot (though costume requires you go around with a lady friend -- who will undoubtedly be dressed like a tramp -- and carry a double-headed sex toy as an accessory).
-Scott Spiezio's red soul patch
-Clinton Portis or Coach Janky Spanky
-Stuart Scott (glass eye not included)
-The Chicago Bears (costume simply requires you wear a crown. That's it. Because "if you want to crown 'em, crown their ass).
Us? Well, we're thinking going as Barry Bonds. The costume is simple, really. We were just going to slap on our Giants hat, wear a t-shirt, and draw a large asterisk on it. We'll do our best to get some photos, but no promises.
Good costume? Great. Send it our way and we'll try to put it up on the site.
Be safe out there, folks. Happy Halloween!
In other news: New England beat the Minnesota 31-7 because the new-look Vikings couldn't get their sea legs.