Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The Dennis Green Survival Rating

We're starting a new feature here at The Big Picture, called the Dennis Green Survival Rating. Because Green's chair is so ass-burning hot, we thought we'd take a weekly look at how Green is surviving as coach of the Arizona Cardinals.

Much like EDSBS's Chuck Amato Survival Meter, the Dennis Green Survival Rating will analyze just how screwed Green is by comparing him to royalty. Why royalty? Because, "if you want to crown 'em, crown their ass." When Green reaches the "King" level, he's as good as fired.

Today Green gets a Queen Level ranking. After a 22-9 loss to the Raiders, Arizona is 1-6, losers of 6 straight, and in last place in the NFC West.

Green is like Queen Elizabeth in the year 1600. She died three years later, so her reign was nearing its end. Green, while he may not die, is nearing his end of power as well.

If the embarrassing loss to the Raiders isn't the last straw, the end is near.

In other NFL news: Drew Bledsoe was benched in Dallas' 36-22 loss to New York after coach Bill Parcells brought in not Tony Romo, but Tony Roma.

2 comments:

Uncle Smokey Stank said...

Ricky Williams and Lawrence Phillips have a better chance of coming back next season than Green, and I think Phillips is in jail.

Maybe Denny should fire another assistant coach.

Mini Me said...

Tony Roma's has great ribs!