Wednesday, July 08, 2009

"Good game, fellas. Nice win today...OWWWW, FUCK!"

You're Ryan Dempster, mediocre-to-good pitcher for the Chicago Cubs. It's been a tough season for you and the team. Your 5-5 record and 4.09 ERA is disappointing after an impressive 17-6 mark in 2008, and the team, expected to run away with the NL Central before the season began, is hovering around .500 due to injuries and Milton Bradley.

But things are starting to look up: Aramis Ramirez is healthy and you've just taken three of four from rival Milwaukee. So you begin to celebrate Sunday's series-finale win like you always do: by hopping over the dugout railing to go congratulate the team in the middle of the field.

Except you trip over the railing, fall hard on your foot and break a toe. Now you're out for about a month.

Yeah, major bummer, dude. Cute babe, though.

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