Thursday, January 17, 2008

Rumor: Osi Umenyiora likes to give Cleveland Steamers

Cleveland Steamer \Clee-ve-lande-stee-mer\, noun: A Cleveland Steamer is when a man defecates on a woman's chest after some period of intercourse. A variation of this is the "chili dog" which takes the Cleveland Steamer one step further by "titty fucking" the woman using the feces as lubricant.

New York Giants defensive end Osi Umenyiora may have a fetish. According to a model's website (NSFW) found by With Leather and Kissing Suzy Kolber, Umenyiora likes to, ugh, well, hmm, better let her explain.
Now let's talk about Osi Umenyiora of the New York Giants. He does likes it nasty in the bedroom. As a magazine model i get introduced to him last summer in NY by a friend of his who also used to play football for a team that I can't remember. We hooked up and he had an unusual request. He wanted to pee on me. I thought it was weird but I did so because he said he it would really turn him on and he would see me again if I did. After I did so in his bathroom he handled his business and asked me how I liked it. I said, "I don't know how I feel about it. It was kind of crazy."

The next time I was with him he offered me 3 grand if I let him defecate on me and I said no. He told me to leave and so I did. The next time he asked and I did and I accepted the 3 grand. And it became a regular thing.
Now there's a very good chance that this actually did happen and Umenyiora gets off by dropping a pile-driver shit on a woman's chest. No way that this is just a swirling Internet rumor. There's all sorts of credibility behind this. C'mon, there's a model who has one blog post about the time she got shat on by an NFL player. She's probably the real Deep Throat.

Sometimes this site writes itself. But this isn't one of those times because this is hard-hitting news. Yes, hard-hitting. Especially if it's a tightly-packed turd.


Unknown said...

Osi should chat with Najeh Davenport about proper dump technique. I'm sure someone that new to the game could learn a thing or two from a dude who pooped in a laundry basket.

GMoney said...

I find nothing wrong with this.

wjackalope said...

wait a minute wait a minute. I thought a cleveland steamer was when you get head while taking a dump.

Anonymous said...

sorry jmc you are actually thinking of the Mud Chin...and i will add any chic that will allow ass to mouth is a keeper but any chic that will let you piss and shit on her never needs to meet the parents but needs to be passed around through friends

Bokolis said...

Getting head while taking a dump is a Blumpkin. I'm pretty sure the Cleveland Steamer also involves spreading it around with the buttocks.

yankeessuck said...

i wish i could take a dump on a fat black girl too!! and getting sucked off while your taking a dump is a blumpkin.

Anonymous said...

I thought a Cleveland Steamer was when you shit in a girl’s pussy? Or is that Space Docking.

Anonymous said...

Well, Umenyiora is trying to show the power of money in a wrong way. You don't do things to human beings that are not respectful to human just because you have money. It is wrong too to the lady who accept to be done on nasty things because of 3 grands. She can work for it and get the money without reducing herself to nothing. Osi shoud know it better than any body else. He knows where he comes from. The money he misuse can help so many needy people rather than what he does to satisfy his animalistic behavior.

Anonymous said...

yankeessuck, you suck you prejudiced freak!

Anonymous said...

"I thought a Cleveland Steamer was when you shit in a girl’s pussy? Or is that Space Docking."

That would be an Alabama Hot-Pocket, sir. Come on now, this is some basic 3rd grade curriculum.

Anonymous said...

People you probably know are into much odder things... they just don't tell you (or maybe anyone) about them. Who cares what two consenting adults do behind closed doors?

And everyone knows that shitting in a pussy is the classic "Fibre-Fun-Reverse-Birth".

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Anonymous said...

That's just nasty.

Anonymous said...

Dumping in the pumper is a "Choco Taco"

Anonymous said...

That's a blumpkin, and if u get head while dumping in the top tank, that s an upper blumpkin.

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Golden shower well, not so rude but defecate, I think that it is quite rude. Specially in American. In other counties maybe isn't so weird.

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