We're two games into the 2008 NBA Finals and we still don't know who to root for. As Bay Area fans, we naturally hate LA. As sports fans, we naturally hate Boston.
We don't mind the Celtics as a team, but to hear a Boston fan brag about another championship team would be worse than nails on a chalkboard or The Strokes.
The Lakers are full of European players whose names you can't pronounce and a player who may or may not have taken advantage of a woman who may or may not have consented to him doing that.
So, who to root for?
LA Lakers_________Boston Celtics
celebrities, fair weather, arrive in the 3rd leave in the 7th____________obnoxious, spoiled
Nails the bosses daughter______Not actually a doctor
Few lakes________________"Leprechauns" would be better
Music in city
Owned by Sony, Geffen or Capital___________________________"More Than a Feeling"
Other professional teams in city
Dodgers, Trojans___Red Sox, Patriots
San Francisco, East Coast, Biggie______New York, Warwick Davis, Tupac?
Beverly Hills 90210, Joey, Fresh Prince______________Boston Public, Cheers, The Practice
Hmm...this has certainly not helped us decide who to root for. Beat LA. Fuck Boston. We're watching tennis or competitive eating.