Reason #3,237 why we love Nate Robinson

We went to college with hoopster Nate Robinson and grew to love his highlight-reel plays, fraternizing skills and Big-Man-on-Campus stature. Dude was a huge stud and he made sure you knew it.

So when he tried to get out of a driving ticket by telling the cop, "Well, I'm Nate Robinson from the Knicks," we weren't at all surprised.

Knick star Nate Robinson blasted rap music and got belligerent with a cop who stopped his SUV, then tried to use his hoop-player status to avoid being arrested.

Robinson, 25, was pulled over in The Bronx Tuesday for driving with an unfastened seat belt. Sources said he cranked up a rap song when the cop walked off to check his license, and then sang along when the officer returned.

The cop responded to these antics by saying, "Ok, Nate Robinson from the Knicks, you're under arrest."

Fantastic.

Robinson didn't actually spend time in the joint, but had he, we have zero doubt that he would have talked his way out of having a shower buddy.

Thirty-four points and a win doesn't make a red tuxedo OK

Nice outfit, kid. That's what Colonel Sanders would look like if he wore a red tuxedo. And didn't have that white beard. And looked more like Aaron Brooks. And was alive and spoke at a press conference.

Obama likes the NBA, favorites

Way to go out on a limb, Mr. President.

The Lakers and Cleveland Cavaliers will meet in the NBA Finals in June.

Says who?

President Barack Obama, that's who.

At the end of an interview with The New York Times on another subject Friday, a reporter asked the President for his picks for the NBA Finals. Obama selected the Lakers and Cavaliers, but did not pick a winner.

LA is 58-16, easily the best record in the West. The Lakers also have this player named Kobe Bryant who we think won a title. Cleveland is 61-13, the best team in the NBA by three games. They have this player named Anderson Varejao. He sucks.

Now about fixing that economy...

[LA Daily News via Ben Maller]

Jason Kidd is dating a Playmate. And she's pregnant. Fantastic.

An NBA star dating an exorbitantly hot chick is old news -- hey, we're doing a whole list of those in this round of Would You Do...

But, fuck, Hope Dworaczyk is mega fine. She's on this month's cover of Playboy magazine with Seth Rogen who may or may not be banging someone similarly as hot as Dwkl^jljalx!*Z!k.

Good get for Kidd. His ex-wife, Jouamana, is mega-super-hot but even more mega-super-fucking-batshit-Courtney-Love crazy. He now has the younger girl, with the perkier tits and far less baggage. Solid move by the nine-time all-star.

And she's pregnant. Wonderful. Ten years down the line perhaps she'll go psycho, too.

You can see the NSFW photos here and some safer ones here. Don't stay in the bathroom too long. Never wanna make it obvious...

The best thing about the Denver Nuggets

From reader Taylor comes this boner-popping video.



Slow motion and silicone. A match made in Heaven!

The NBA started last night? Who knew?

Tuesday was the beginning of the NBA season Pt. 1 (Pt. 2 runs from April to June and it's also known as the playoffs you non-inferring assholes).

Usually there's excitement about the start of the new season. Opening Day in baseball is a national holiday, the beginning of football signifies the end of summer and the start of the best sports season of the year and the beginning of hockey, yeah, hockey... Ice. Pucks. Sticks. Great American sport. Truly is.

While we constantly rip on the NBA and would rather be subjected to hundreds of paper cuts than sit through an entire game, people, yes, real people, do, in fact, like professional basketball. (If you can find all the appositives in that last sentence, reward yourself with a cookie from the cookie jar).

So why isn't the start of the NBA season a big deal?

-It's not that it's only one of many games. See baseball to contradict that argument.
-It's not that there aren't a plethora of stars.
-It's not the cheerleaders. They are extremely plug-able.
-It's not that there aren't some good games on Opening Night. Boston vs. Cleveland and Portland vs. the Lakers are both decent games on paper.

Is it bad marketing? Did the MLB gurus pound the idea in Americans' heads that Opening Day is an event?

Or, perhaps you're with us, in that the NBA is a flawed, boring, terrible, awful, shitty league that molests little children.

Your speculation in the comments, please.

Much ado about a stupid team name

The other day the OKC Thunder debuted their thoroughly boring and stupid looking uniforms. Not only do they suck, but they in no way whatsoever represent the team name, the Thunder. I guess that's what you get when you name your team after a sound. Hard to represent that visually I suppose.

But the real point of this post is the fallout from the Sonics being rebranded into the Thunder. It means that the Golden State Warriors' mascot, Thunder, is no longer allowed. Yes. That's right. The Warriors can't have a mascot named Thunder. And so they're just going to get rid of him. And presumably they'll then have to do away with this logo.

Forget for a second why the Warriors had a mascot named Thunder in the first place, because it makes no sense (along with their whole lightning bolt motif), and ask this question: couldn't they just give him a new name? Like, oh, I don't know, Lightning? Or would that Tampa Bay franchise object? How about Storm? No. Crash? Stupid name but seriously, they could think of something. Or maybe they realized that Thunder sucked and this was a convenient way to get rid of him. Ah, now I get it.

This brings to mind lots of questions: How could the OKC franchise have better represented the name Thunder in their logo, colors, and uniforms? What could the Warriors have changed Thunder's name to? Why do the Warriors have a lightning and thunder motif in the first place? Should they get rid of it? What would they do instead? Obviously they can't go back to the whole Native American thing. What about a like, viking warrior or something medieval looking? Check this out. It's even blue and gold, perfect!

Oklahoma City Thunder: It rolls right off the tongue

The Seattle SuperSonics are officially dead: welcome to the NBA, Oklahoma City Thunder.

Thunder? Really? Daunting. Scary. Intimidating.

And there is thunder in Seattle, too. And in Miami. And in just abut every fucking city that has weather or the sky.

What's even more humorous than actually referring to a professional basketball team (that does not contain women on it) as the Thunder is the other names OKC brass were considering.

They were Wind, Barons, Marshalls, Energy and Bison.

One by one:

-Wind. OMG! WTF! LOL! The wind. DURANT FOR THREE AT THE BUZZER...WIND WIN! WIND WIN! Yeah, that would work for a WNBA team.

-Barons. Like it. A title of nobility. Beer baron. Baron Davis.

-Marshalls. Not bad. A western term. A form of authority. Carry guns.

-Energy. No. No. No. Kinetic energy. PG&E. Energizer.

-Bison. Safe. Go the animal route. Fine. Plural without an S. Love it.

Going the path of storms or thunder or weather, we thought Twisters could've been good. Or Tornadoes. Why not? Kind of trite, but pertinent to the region, daunting and easy to turn into a logo.

But instead we now welcome the Oklahoma City Thunder to the NBA. And we officially say goodbye to the Seattle SuperSonics.

Marty McFly on air board? Kobe on a b-ball court? Our money's with McFly

Bad headline. Sorry. It happens. At least it's better than this one.

But those kicks on that awesomely futuristic board are the Nike Hyperdunk Marty McFly Undefeated Supreme Kobe, which sounds more like a sentence compiled by a first-grader than the name of expensive sneakers. They were worn by Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future II, if you didn't know. But you should've known. Marty's girlfriend/wife was dynamite!

But Kobe's promoting the shoes -- check the photo of him getting out of the DoLorean at Ball Don't Lie -- and, jeez, they're selling for up to $2,000 on eBay.

Not sure if the new shoes will help Kobe's jump shot. But if he plans on air-boarding in the off-season, man, watch out. He's gonna tear that shit up.

Yi Jianlian might be traded

Things I like: mustard seed, ambition, the color "egg shell," subtleties, salmon-colored dress shirts, trade talks, Woodford Reserve, Phish Food, Frank Sinatra.

Things I don't like: mayonnaise, persistence, Tom Clancy novels, sage, Gin and Tonics, R&B, Ikea, audacity, bar soap.

When we first talked about a year ago, I was not so happy to be a Milwaukee Buck. Things got better and I learned the American way, from domestic beer to bratwurst to cheese.

But now, as my name has surfaced in trade talks, I am happy to know I might be leaving Wisconsin. Though I may be traded to Minnesota for the rights to the No. 3 pick in Thursday's draft.

If I could be traded to any NBA city, Minnesota would probably be around 27th on the list. I love accents and those in Minnesota make me smile. I like to smile. But it's cold there and it doesn't have as large of an Asian population as I'd like.

But I do like the Timberwolves' colors. And tapioca pudding.

The real reason to vote for Obama

Now that Barack Obama has wrapped up the Democratic nomination, we're prepared to sit down and make the hard decision of who to vote for in the Presidential Election - Obama or John McCain. And since we're tired of deciding who to vote for based on looks, clothes, money and how hot their wives are, and the only thing we really know anything about is sports, we figured there's no better way to decide than by comparing the sports teams from their home states.

Obama hails from Illinois, home to the Bears, Cubs, White Sox, Bulls, Blackhawks and Fire (soccer. The Fire is a soccer team. We had to look it up too). McCain is from Arizona, home to the Cardinals, Diamondbacks, Suns and Coyotes. Let's compare to see which teams are better.

Football:

Illinois:
Chicago Bears. Established in 1919. Eight NFL championships and one Super Bowl title. Twenty-five primary Hall of Famers. Known for the Super Bowl Shuffle and "Daaa Bears" routines on SNL. 2007 record: 7-9, 4th place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2006, NFC Champions.

Arizona:
Arizona Cardinals. Established in 1898. Two NFL championships, zero Super Bowl titles. Twelve Hall of Famers. Known for having a shitty owner and ugly uniforms. Play games in a stadium that resembles a spaceship. Have only been in Arizona since 1988. 2007 record: 8-8, 2nd place. Most recent playoff appearance: 1998, lost in Divisional Round.

Edge: Illinois. The Bears have a lot more titles and recent success. This could swing in the next few years.

Baseball:

Illinois:
Chicago Cubs. Established in 1876. Two World Series Titles. Nine Hall of Famers. Known for curses, World Series droughts, Wrigleyville, Harry Caray and Bartman. Currently in 1st place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2007, lost in NLDS.
Chicago White Sox. Established 1900. Three World Series Titles. Five Hall of Famers. Known for the Black Sox Scandal, wearing shorts, ranting managers. Currently in 1st place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2005, won World Series.

Arizona:
Arizona Diamondbacks. Established in 1998. One World Series Title. Zero Hall of Famers. Known for changing colors, building through the farm system, trading away the mother-lode for Dan Haren. Currently in 1st place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2007, lost in NLCS.

Edge: Illinois. 2 is better than 1.

Basketball:

Illinois:
Chicago Bulls. Established in 1966. Six NBA titles. Four Hall of Famers. Known for Michael Jordan, Hanes underwear, three-peats, black shoes. 07-08 season: 33-49, 4th place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2006-2007, lost in Conference Semis.

Arizona:
Phoenix Suns. Established in 1968. Zero NBA titles. Two Hall of Famers. Known for Charles Barkley, the Gorilla, run-'n'-gun offense. 07-08 season: 55-27, 2nd place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2007-2008, lost in 1st round.

Edge: Push. Chicago has the history, but Phoenix is a lot better right now. And the gorilla is freakin' rad!

Hockey:

Illinois: Chicago Blackhawks. Established in 1926. Three Stanley Cups Championships. Twenty Hall of Famers. Known for being a member of the original six, a borderline racist logo and being named the worst franchise in professional sports by ESPN. 2007-2008 season: 40-34-8, 3rd place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2001-2002, lost in 1st round.

Arizona: Phoenix Coyotes. Established in 1972 (as the Winnipeg Jets). Zero Stanley Cup Championships. Four Hall of Famers. Known for being coached by the Great One, never making it out of the 1st round of the playoffs. Moved to Phoenix in 1996. 2007-2008 season: 38-37-7, 4th place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2001-2002, lost in first round.

Edge: Illinois. This is tough. They both pretty much suck, but at least Chicago has been good in the past.

Soccer:

Illinois:
Chicago Fire. Founded in 1997. One MLS Cup. Known for being named after a disaster, winning the US Open Cup, we have no idea. Currently in 2nd place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2007, lost in semifinals.

Arizona:
Nothing.

Edge: Illinois. By default.

So that makes it 4 for Illinois and 0 for Arizona, with one push. Well, friends, you heard it here first: Vote for Obama, because the sports in Illinois are better than in Arizona.

Except the college sports, that might change things. But it would be like 30 different schools to research and honestly it's not worth doing all that for one measly little blog post that already took a long time to put together. Oh and there's also the WNBA, but really, does that count? We don't even know if they have teams in these states. I guess there's Arena Football, too. And what about professional lacrosse or softball, or even high school sports? I guess we could say that Arizona has spring training, so that's like way more baseball than in Illinois, but then we'd maybe have to give a point to Arizona, and honestly we didn't want to do that because the whole point of this was to promote Obama....

Boston or LA?

We're two games into the 2008 NBA Finals and we still don't know who to root for. As Bay Area fans, we naturally hate LA. As sports fans, we naturally hate Boston.

We don't mind the Celtics as a team, but to hear a Boston fan brag about another championship team would be worse than nails on a chalkboard or The Strokes.

The Lakers are full of European players whose names you can't pronounce and a player who may or may not have taken advantage of a woman who may or may not have consented to him doing that.

So, who to root for?

Contestants

LA Lakers_________Boston Celtics

Fans

celebrities, fair weather, arrive in the 3rd leave in the 7th____________obnoxious, spoiled

Uniforms

Purple and yellow (but not the good kind)_____________________Irish

Coaches

Nails the bosses daughter______Not actually a doctor

Mascot

Few lakes________________"Leprechauns" would be better

Music in city

Owned by Sony, Geffen or Capital___________________________"More Than a Feeling"

Other professional teams in city

Dodgers, Trojans___Red Sox, Patriots

Enemies

San Francisco, East Coast, Biggie______New York, Warwick Davis, Tupac?

TV Shows

Beverly Hills 90210, Joey, Fresh Prince______________Boston Public, Cheers, The Practice

MLS Team

Becks, plural name?_______________defiant, plural name?

Hmm...this has certainly not helped us decide who to root for. Beat LA. Fuck Boston. We're watching tennis or competitive eating.

The Sonics would be better off moving to Chernobyl

According to this list, wonderfully titled "Hells on Earth," Oklahoma City ranks ahead of the likes of Baghdad and Chernobyl as one of the top five worst cities in the world.

While it may be all hunky-dory on the musical front, Oklahoma City isn’t the kind of place you’d want to hang out in for too long if you like to keep your feet on terra firma. The weather is frighteningly unpredictable, with blizzards often descending on the city and winds that could knock a high rise clean off its feet. It is, after all, located in the direct path of “Tornado Alley.”

So, yeah, Kevin Durant is going to be blown away by a tornado.

Wake us up when it's Bobcats-Clippers

Yawn. When the Spurs finally took out the Hornets the other day, we rolled our eyes. When, oh when, will the NBA have the parity that has made MLB and the NFL so fun to watch in recent years? Spurs again? Lakers again? Pistons again?

Let's review. The Spurs or Lakers have been Western Conference champs nine of the last 10 years, with only the Mavs breaking through that one time. Surprisingly, they've only met head to head in the Western Conference Finals once during that span, so that makes this matchup at least a tiny bit interesting, but not really.

Detroit has been in the Eastern Conference Finals for six straight years and frankly the act is getting boring. At least we haven't seen the Celts this far in a while, but we're talking about a team with SIXTEEN NBA titles. Second to them? The Lakers with 14. In fact, the final four NBA teams are 1st, 2nd, 4th, and 5th, on the list of most titles all time.

We're ready for something new. Where are the Hawks, and the Raptors, and the Grizzlies? When do the Knicks finally get good? Why the hell can't the Nuggets win with Melo and AI? Oh well, once again we'll have the same damn teams in the NBA conference finals. Wake us up when it's over.

And another thing -- what's with all the anti-Celtics sentiment? Are they a particularly unlikeable team? Or do people just like to root for the underdog? Fuck Boston? At least they're not the Spurs.

What the hell was Jannero Pargo thinking?

That's Hornets guard Jannero Pargo, who surely is missing a shot in New Orleans' Game 7 loss to San Antonio.

We don't care that Pargo had 16 of his 18 points in the fourth quarter. He had those points because he was chucking up the ball like he was playing a fucking pickup game.

He set up isolation for himself and took terrible shots and got bailed out by a few cheap fouls on what should have been turnovers.

He shot 6-16 from the floor which is absolutely inexcusable when you have an MVP candidate in Chris Paul and ultra-talented inside threat in David West on the floor. Why was Pargo even on the court?

This AP writer was clearly watching a different game.

Buoyed by a home crowd that stood throughout the fourth quarter, the Hornets fought back to make a game of it, largely behind Pargo, who had done little in this series. He scored seven straight on four free throws sandwiched around a 3-pointer, pulling the Hornets to 81-77 with 3:10 to go.

Paul Forrester's quick hits on SI.com were, unlike Pargo's shots, on target.

Every team shortens its rotation at this time of year; the difference for the Spurs is that the selected few who come off Gregg Popovich's bench at crunch time hit multiple threes, like Robert Horry and Michael Finley each did in Game 7...In short, they place the bow on the Spurs' biggest wins. They did so again Monday against a New Orleans club who could only counter with the bombs-away approach of Jannero Pargo, whose scoring was welcome, but whose lack of much else wasn't.

Don't know if we would go as far as saying Pargo blew that game, but for a guy who didn't do anything in the team's biggest ever series, why he chose to make himself the go-to-guy with the season on the line seems nothing short of ridiculous.

(Getty Image)

NBA Lottery! (Exclamation point!)

We feel like we're bad sports fans this time of year: we couldn't get into the NBA playoffs if every game came down to the last shot and every series went seven; we're only a quarter of the way through the baseball season; and college sports aren't exactly relevant in May, unless the NCAA Women's Softball Tournament does it for you.

But today is the NBA Lottery, which we will get (and already are) very excited for. The only better use of ping pong balls is throwing them into beer-filled cups.

Miami's odds are the best, with Seattle also having a pretty legit shot at the top pick in June's draft. Although the Warriors missed out on the playoffs, there are five silver linings, coming in the shape of five bouncy balls. (Complete odds list here).

Common logic right now has Miami taking K-State's Michael Beasley, but NBADraft.net has the Heat going with Memphis' Derrick Rose and the Supes taking Beasley. Holy moly! Beasley and Kevin Durant together in Seatt...err...Oklahoma would be nuts!

So yeah. Ping pong balls! If that doesn't get you excited, don't forget about the NBA Lottery Drinking Game.

Who saw that hot chick behind the Hornets' bench Saturday?

We watched most of the Hornets' convincing win over the Spurs Saturday and while it was nice to see David West absolutely dominate Tim Duncan, all we could really focus on were the limited shots of that gorgeous woman behind New Orleans' bench.

Anyone else catch her? She was wearing a yellow halter dress, showing off her 8,000-dollar breasts and rooting hard for the home team.

For you Web sleuths out there, if you can find a photo of her or pull a screen grab of it if you did the TiVo thing, we'll kindly reward you with a link to your site, porn links or a free subscribtion to this blog. We know we offer a lot.

Get to work. The world is counting on you.

DeShawn Stevenson and Buzz Bissinger: A fight to the death (or something cliché like that)

Two lapses of judgment Tuesday: Author Buzz Bissinger chose to swear a lot on HBO and make an ass of himself and basketballer DeShawn Stevenson chose to don a Michael Vick jersey and make an ass of himself. (Though Stevenson's not getting positive attention for not supporting Rae Carruth, Carlton Dotson or O.J. Simpson).

So we're going to run a poll to see who is the bigger, badder idiot. Badder isn't a word, we're told, unless it's spelled with two Ts referring to something like cake "batter" or "batter" up. Bad writing. Bad grammar. Bad bad bad. We no longer are entitled to an opinion.

Contestants

DeShawn Stevenson_________Buzz Bissinger

Profession

basketball player_______journalist

Fashion

fur coat (?), jerseys_______sport coat, slacks

Hates

Dogs, LeBron James______Blogs, Will Leitch (?)

Loves

Soulja Boy_____Horses

Form of Intimidation

"Menacing Gestures"______Unintentional spit, loud voice

Grew Up...

In Fresno___Reading the newspaper

Enemies

LeBron, Jay-Z, PETA______Bloggers

Musical taste

Rap, hip hop, R&B____classical, definitely not rock 'n' roll -- too new age

May the best man win...

Who's the bigger idiot?
	DeShawn Stevenson
	Buzz Bissinger
pollcode.com free polls

Craig Sager is giving sport coats a bad name

No, no, no! You have it all wrong, Craig Sager. Purple does not go with the brown shoes. Nope. All wrong.

Then again, "all wrong," is a pretty accurate way to describe Sager's fashion sense and overall demeanor. The man is embarrassing himself and the sport-coat-and-slacks look for men in general. You know it, we know it and Kevin Garnett knows it.

The best word to describe Sager: gimmicky. We fucking hate gimmicks and Sager switching up his blazer like Mr. Rogers and his fucking sweaters has no place in sports.

You can see a wide variety of Sager's gimmicks here and cringe at every one. It's not that Sager is even that bad at what he does, which we think is something made only for attractive women. But when he pulls that shit with his wardrobe, he's begging not to be taken seriously. His shenanigans make him appear more like a circus clown than a reporter.

But maybe in another life Sager was a clown. Or perhaps Ronald McDonald could provide the TNT and TBS audiences with occasional sideline updates.

Knicks try to win over fans with free food

If we're a sucker for any one thing, it's free shit. That sounds like a lot of things, but it's not. "Free shit" is one entity. And we love it.

So if we were being appreciated as Knicks fans yesterday, we would've felt, well, appreciated.

All fans who attend the game will be welcomed to enjoy free food and beverages from MSG's concession stands throughout the building starting at 6:30 p.m., when doors open to the public. In addition, servers will walk around the arena to distribute food and drink items, including hot dogs, pretzels, soda and water, among other choices. This marks the first time MSG has provided food and non-alcoholic drinks at no cost to fans.

There will also be a major merchandise discount of 30 percent off everything.

We would've eaten like 11 hotdogs, taken plenty of "other choices" and drank tons of water. Hydration is important. And "other choices" is much like choosing what's in the mystery box. It could be anything!

Of course Knicks fans would prefer a few other things on Fan Appreciation Day, like:

1. A few more wins
2. Isiah Thomas getting fired or deported
3. Spitzer's hooker
4. No taxes (hey, it's Tax Day! Score two for a relevant, yet unfunny joke).
5. Gateway drugs

The booze was not free, of course, so we imagine that MSG still pulled in five figures on beer sales as the Knicks lost for the 58th time this season.