Wednesday, June 18, 2008

San Francisco has been there too, Rice Owl fans

This is it: You have a 5-0 lead with three innings left to play. You're going to win the World Series. The World freakin' Series! You don't say it, of course. You wouldn't dare say it. But a friend does. And you tell her to fuck off and swallow a light bulb. But you think she's right: The Giants are going to win the World freakin' Series.

Then, uh, then this happens. And your 5-0 lead and World Series victory is a 6-5 loss. And you denounce baseball and religion and all that is good and right with the world forever. (And you use the word "and" a lot.)

But Giants fans, you're no longer alone in your World Series futility and heartbreak. Make room for the Rice Owls.

In yesterday's elimination game of the College World Series, The Owls led the Tigers of LSU 5-0 heading into the bottom of the seventh. Then they gave up a run. No sweat, fellas, just a run. Then another run in the eighth. Still got 'em, guys, three-run lead with an inning to play. That's gonna be us up there, so happy, so full of life.

Then some hits, an error and Blake Dean. Blake fucking Dean. You hate Blake Dean. Blake Dean hits a three-run double and your 5-0 lead is a 6-5 loss and your season is over and you find the closest Dick's Sporting Goods in Omaha. They sell guns and bow and arrows at Dick's Sporting Goods in Omaha.

We are brothers now, Rice fans, forever linked by 6-5 World Series scores. Six-five. We hate the score 6-5. It's a bad score and bad things happen with that score. We hate anything that reminds us of October 26, 2002. And the Rally Monkey. What the fuck is a Rally Monkey, anyway? Doesn't matter, we fucking hate it.

Now give us some whiskey and a rope. 

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