Suddenly Michael Phelps and Tyson Gay are all over the front page of ESPN.com. It's kind of amazing how much we can suddenly find ourselves caring about things we'd normally forget even existed, just because it's Olympics time.
Like the pole vault. When do we ever watch pole-vault or diving or fencing? We don't even have a freakin' clue who any of these athletes are. But for some reason, you cue the Olympics music and all of a sudden we're sucked in and it's like we've been dedicated Modern Pentathlon fans our whole lives. (Then again, who isn't already?)
Why is that? It's not this. We're not so dumb that we watch any televised sporting event.
It's something about the Olympics. Probably because they're so rare. Rarity really makes things so much better. Like strip clubs. Once a year: awesome. Every week: depressing. Think about how much you love baseball or football. Now imagine if the only time it was widely broadcast was once every four years. You'd go fucking Looney Toons for that shit. It's the same reason a good shit gets one unsaid person so excited: It only happens once every four years.
So enjoy your month or two of Olympics mania. (8/8/08! A+ for marketing!) By September you'll have completely forgotten what Quadruple Sculls is.
Comment starter: What's your favorite obscure summer Olympics sport? And don't even think about taking Quadruple Sculls. That's our, people!