Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Jimmie Johnson can't handle the truth

Monday, Deadspin was kind enough to share a tale of NASCAR driver Jimmie Johnson falling out of a golf cart and breaking his wrist.

But later reports explain that perhaps Johnson's injury happened when he was "horsing around," rather than when the cart made a sharp turn, causing him to fall out. Said his spokeswoman (is "spokeswoman" a euphemism for "sex slave?") Kristine Curley:

"Jimmie was horsing around and was on top of the golf cart when he fell off. He wasn't trying to deceive anyone and is sorry if anyone believes he was being untruthful."

Does this story just scream Jeff Kent to anyone else? Remember back in 2002, Kent, then a member of the Giants, broke his thumb during Spring Training? He said the accident occurred while washing his truck. (What kind of uncoordinated bastard breaks his thumb while washing his car?) But later evidence leaned towards Kent getting hurt when he had a motorcycle accident -- a motorcyle he was forbidden to ride in his contract. (Cue the scary music).

Sure we kid here; breaking your wrist must suck. But next time Jimmie, rather than lying about the whole thing, just tell people you were dicking off. Or that you were drunk. Yeah, drunk. That'd work.

In other news: After Chicago demolished the Rams, St. Louis coach Scott Linehan admitted that he had no idea who Devin Hester was.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

People should be more careful with their career choices.

Anonymous said...

When reached for Commented about Linehan's comments, Hester replied. "I sure as hell know who who Linehan is. He my Bitch. Old school. THATS HOW WE DO at THE U, BABY" Hester was then seen flashing bizarre gang signs.
Apparently it was like The Bat signal, as Lamar Thomas, formner U broadcaster started a one man riot.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

nice, kickers...hester's a cane! completely forgot...yeah, when's the brawl?