Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Favre contemplates thinking about retirement


Backwoods, Miss. -- Green Bay quarterback Brett Favre said Sunday from his home in Mississippi that he was considering retiring. He told ESPN's Chris Mortensen in an interview that, "If I had to pick right now and make a decision, I would say I'm not coming back."

But making decisions is not Favre' strong point. He's known for making poor decisions in key games and he's characterized as not good at making decisions at all.

"I think I want to retire because I'm getting older," said Favre, 67. "But then again, I think I wanted to retire three years ago and here I am. I think I'll probably wake up tomorrow and decide I want to be the fucking president."

Favre has played 37 seasons in the NFL and the Packers were 4-12 last season, his worst ever.

"We were fuckin' terrible last year," said Favre. "It didn't help losing Ahman (Packers' running back Ahman Green), but I just couldn't get it together. I think I was too caught up in trying to decide what I was going to eat for dinner on game nights."

Favre threw 20 TDs against 29 INTs in the 2005 campaign and had meatloaf for dinner three nights a week.

There was lots of speculation about how Favre would react to the firing of former head coach Mike Sherman, but Favre made his feelings clear.


"Sure, Shermie blew last year." he said, "He certainly needed to go. But this new guy the front office brought in? I mean, who the fuck do they think I am? I especially don't want to play for this dickhead."

The "dickhead" whom Favre spoke of was new Packers' coach Mike McCarthy who previously was the offensive coordinator for the 49ers. It is unclear at this time if McCarthy actually has a penis attached to his head, but sources are looking into it.

According to an AP wire story, Favre suggested to Mortensen it was not his physical shape that was complicating his decision, instead acknowledging a host of factors, such as his daughter's upcoming high school graduation.

"If she's anything like me," Favre said of his daughter, "she'll decide on what college she wants to attend when she's 26. But it better be Southern Miss. Go Eagles!"

Asked what he'd miss most if he were to retire, Favre said, "It'd have to be the road trips. I'd love to go into a hostile city, kick the shit out their team, and then fine some hot, young broads to nail back in the hotel."

It's likely that Favre will stay in football even after his retirement, which could be anywhere from tomorrow to 2071. Favre said he would consider coaching or perhaps broadcasting, but he said, "It may take me a while to decide. I'll get back to you in a couple of years."

In other news: The Denver Broncos are speaking with Terrell Owens about the possibility of him being their head cheerleader next season.

2 comments:

insomniac said...

In fairness to Favre, it must be pretty hard to stay focused on anything with a group of reporters sucking on your nuts 24/7.

...btw, you've been in the zone lately. Great stuff all week long.

Alice Byrne said...

People should separate his gametime decisions from his personal life. He has played many seasons in the NFL and he deserves to retire the best way possible. I'm quite sure he will have a career related to football. It's just a matter of when and where. Hehe.