Friday, December 30, 2005

Hating Fox Sports, Part 1: Tim McCarver

They don't get much worse than Old Man McCarver. The former major league catcher turned TV analyst turned moron, has been calling the last few World Series, which is far too many to be calling.

He teams up with Joe Buck to put together one of the most boring fucking broadcasts known to man. McCarver has nothing insightful to say about the game and appears to get dumber by the pitch.

His bio on his website says:

McCarver’s broadcast career started with the Philadelphia Phillies, almost immediately after his retirement as a player, but it wasn't long before his talents were recognized by NBC and WOR, the superstation home of the New York Mets. Within two years, McCarver was doing double duty as the network's Game of the Week baseball analyst and WOR's everyday analyst of the New York Mets, becoming a mainstay in All-Star and World Series broadcasts.

The fact that somebody had the fucking audacity to say "talent" and "Tim McCarver" in the same breath makes puking sound like the only option.

Years ago, when calling the Atlanta vs. Cleveland World Series, Old Man McCarver said, "Marquis Grissom was born the 14th of 15th children. He bats second in the Braves lineup, a spot known as the table setter. That's ironic because I'm sure he was setting the table quite a bit as a child."

And this past year, McCarver had his nose so far up A.J. Pierzynski's ass during the playoffs that A.J. considered defecating on his face. Unfortunately for all of us, A.J. reluctantly held it in.

Old Man McCarver has won three national Emmy Awards as "Best Sportscaster/Analyst," which makes one wonder who the fuck is voting.

McCarver, with the help of Buck, has made the World Series virtually impossible to listen to on television. (Thankfully, Jon Miller has the call on the radio). The ratings for the playoffs suck nearly as much as Old Man McCarver.

Tim, The Big Picture certainly does not salute you and considers you to have a lower IQ than a crayon.

Norv Turner update: 7:03 a.m. PST and our boy is still in as the Raiders' coach.

In other news: Bengals' QB Carson Palmer has signed a 6-year contract extension with an option for a guest appearance as President Palmer on "24."


wjackalope said...

Fox makes baseball literally unwatchable. I actually had to mute the World Series and watch the TV while listening to Jon Miller call the game on the radio. I did this despite the annoying timing mismatch.

I miss Bob Costas calling the World Series on NBC.

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THN said...

Nice work. Man, that Game 2 of the ALCS still hurts me.

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