Tuesday, May 22, 2007
The NBA Lottery drinking game
Today's NBA Lottery is just about the best event the NBA has to offer besides the NBA Draft, an NBA arrest, or an NBA game involving Stephen Jackson.
We're big fans of the lottery, not because it's fair (load of shit, if you ask us), but because it's about the only exciting thing happening right now.
So in honor of today's lottery, here's the unofficial NBA Lottery Drinking Game, which should, like, make it even more fun:
-Take two drinks if Pau Gasol is Memphis' representative.
-Take four if neither Memphis or Boston wins the lottery.
-Take five if either Memphis or Boston wins the lottery.
-Kill the drink if a cutthroat motion is made by the Memphis or Boston rep after missing out on the top two picks.
-Take three when you first realize that Bill Simmons' next column will involve the Celtics and the lottery.
-Take one when you see Isaiah Thomas for the first time.
-Take three more when Thomas gives his shit-eating grin.
-Kill it, get another and kill that shit too if Adam Morrison is Charlotte's rep and he's wearing a Che Guevara t-shirt.
-Take five when the Hawks have to give their pick to Phoenix.
-Continue to sip for every second of awkward silence.
-Take three if there's a Kevin Garnett trade rumor.
-Take two if the Maloof's are there.
-Every time Kevin Durant or Greg Oden's name is mentioned, take a drink.
-When whichever team wins the lottery, if a commentator then says, "the ball bounced _____'s way," get a fucking keg.
See how this works? Good. Give us your best in the comments.