Obama likes the NBA, favorites

Way to go out on a limb, Mr. President.

The Lakers and Cleveland Cavaliers will meet in the NBA Finals in June.

Says who?

President Barack Obama, that's who.

At the end of an interview with The New York Times on another subject Friday, a reporter asked the President for his picks for the NBA Finals. Obama selected the Lakers and Cavaliers, but did not pick a winner.

LA is 58-16, easily the best record in the West. The Lakers also have this player named Kobe Bryant who we think won a title. Cleveland is 61-13, the best team in the NBA by three games. They have this player named Anderson Varejao. He sucks.

Now about fixing that economy...

[LA Daily News via Ben Maller]

Like Obama, The Big Picture is for change

We have a new president today and he's for change. As are we. We're for change. Not just change in terms of stimulus packages, tax breaks, employment opportunities and social programs, but sports change. We're for change in sports.

So today, the day the change in America officially gets underway, we launch The Big Picture for Change in Sports campaign.

Change the NFL overtime rules - We've seen enough coin flips determine the outcome of a game. We've seen an injustice in the sport. The Big Picture for Change in Sports stands for a match overtime system like the one that currently exists on the college level. Incorporate special teams into it and you have a system that promotes justice and equality. The Big Picture for Change in Sports (crowd applauds).

Change the BCS - Enough debate. Enough controversy. Away with the BCS. In with a playoff. The Big Picture for Change in Sports (crowd applauds).

Change the conference tournaments in NCAA basketball - An automatic bid to the NCAA Tournament should not be won in a three or four day span. The Big Picture for Change in Sports stands for a team's body of work. Win the conference in the regular season, win the auto bid. Every season a one-bid mid-major dominates its conference in the regular season only to be upset in the conference tournament championship, losing a chance to participate in the NCAA Tournament. The Big Picture for Change in Sports feels the pain of this team. They have suffered a great injustice. Let the regular season speak for itself. The Big Picture for Change in Sports (crowd applauds).

Change the American League designated hitter position - A Major League Baseball Player should play the field and represent not only his offensive abilities, but his defensive abilities too. The Big Picture for Change in Sports (crowd applauds).

Change the height of the NBA hoop - The average NBA player stands 6-feet-8-inches and can touch the backboard without leaving his feet. Many can dunk the ball through the hoop with only a small hop. The talent of these athletes has exceeded that of those who preceded them. Today's players have mastered the game. The Big Picture for Change in Sports would increase the height of the basket to 11 feet to add a challenge to a game the pros have mastered. The Big Picture for Change in Sports (crowd applauds).

The Big Picture for Change in Sports is also about the people and their beliefs. What would YOU, the FAN, like to see changed in sports? We, as politicians, can only change so much. This is Democracy! We want YOUR voice to matter too.

The Big Picture for Change in Sports (uproarious applause).

Please Vote

On a day where the most important thing you'll vote for is clearly two first-round match ups in the "Would you do..." Tournament of Champions, remember that there are a few other teeny, tiny reasons to go vote today.

And if you are California readers (and voters), please make sure to do the right thing on some of these propositions. Some pretty important ones...please do the right thing. Like really. Some pretty fucked up shit got on the California ballot.

And for our Ohio friends and readers out there (there are an alarming number of you!), make sure your state goes the good direction. You know which way that is if you've been reading closely!

So make us proud, sweet country. Vote and vote right. Don't fuck this thing up.

Not sports, but funny

We would do Sarah Silverman. You?


The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

The next president of the United States of America...

So this is a fun game.

Go ahead and make one. Send your permalink to zachls5@gmail.com and the one that makes us laugh the hardest will get a shoutout of some sort.

And the woman in the video is a fucking dime! Shoutout No. 2 goes to the person who can find naked pictures of her on this lovely Internet.

The real reason to vote for Obama

Now that Barack Obama has wrapped up the Democratic nomination, we're prepared to sit down and make the hard decision of who to vote for in the Presidential Election - Obama or John McCain. And since we're tired of deciding who to vote for based on looks, clothes, money and how hot their wives are, and the only thing we really know anything about is sports, we figured there's no better way to decide than by comparing the sports teams from their home states.

Obama hails from Illinois, home to the Bears, Cubs, White Sox, Bulls, Blackhawks and Fire (soccer. The Fire is a soccer team. We had to look it up too). McCain is from Arizona, home to the Cardinals, Diamondbacks, Suns and Coyotes. Let's compare to see which teams are better.

Football:

Illinois:
Chicago Bears. Established in 1919. Eight NFL championships and one Super Bowl title. Twenty-five primary Hall of Famers. Known for the Super Bowl Shuffle and "Daaa Bears" routines on SNL. 2007 record: 7-9, 4th place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2006, NFC Champions.

Arizona:
Arizona Cardinals. Established in 1898. Two NFL championships, zero Super Bowl titles. Twelve Hall of Famers. Known for having a shitty owner and ugly uniforms. Play games in a stadium that resembles a spaceship. Have only been in Arizona since 1988. 2007 record: 8-8, 2nd place. Most recent playoff appearance: 1998, lost in Divisional Round.

Edge: Illinois. The Bears have a lot more titles and recent success. This could swing in the next few years.

Baseball:

Illinois:
Chicago Cubs. Established in 1876. Two World Series Titles. Nine Hall of Famers. Known for curses, World Series droughts, Wrigleyville, Harry Caray and Bartman. Currently in 1st place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2007, lost in NLDS.
Chicago White Sox. Established 1900. Three World Series Titles. Five Hall of Famers. Known for the Black Sox Scandal, wearing shorts, ranting managers. Currently in 1st place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2005, won World Series.

Arizona:
Arizona Diamondbacks. Established in 1998. One World Series Title. Zero Hall of Famers. Known for changing colors, building through the farm system, trading away the mother-lode for Dan Haren. Currently in 1st place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2007, lost in NLCS.

Edge: Illinois. 2 is better than 1.

Basketball:

Illinois:
Chicago Bulls. Established in 1966. Six NBA titles. Four Hall of Famers. Known for Michael Jordan, Hanes underwear, three-peats, black shoes. 07-08 season: 33-49, 4th place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2006-2007, lost in Conference Semis.

Arizona:
Phoenix Suns. Established in 1968. Zero NBA titles. Two Hall of Famers. Known for Charles Barkley, the Gorilla, run-'n'-gun offense. 07-08 season: 55-27, 2nd place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2007-2008, lost in 1st round.

Edge: Push. Chicago has the history, but Phoenix is a lot better right now. And the gorilla is freakin' rad!

Hockey:

Illinois: Chicago Blackhawks. Established in 1926. Three Stanley Cups Championships. Twenty Hall of Famers. Known for being a member of the original six, a borderline racist logo and being named the worst franchise in professional sports by ESPN. 2007-2008 season: 40-34-8, 3rd place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2001-2002, lost in 1st round.

Arizona: Phoenix Coyotes. Established in 1972 (as the Winnipeg Jets). Zero Stanley Cup Championships. Four Hall of Famers. Known for being coached by the Great One, never making it out of the 1st round of the playoffs. Moved to Phoenix in 1996. 2007-2008 season: 38-37-7, 4th place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2001-2002, lost in first round.

Edge: Illinois. This is tough. They both pretty much suck, but at least Chicago has been good in the past.

Soccer:

Illinois:
Chicago Fire. Founded in 1997. One MLS Cup. Known for being named after a disaster, winning the US Open Cup, we have no idea. Currently in 2nd place. Most recent playoff appearance: 2007, lost in semifinals.

Arizona:
Nothing.

Edge: Illinois. By default.

So that makes it 4 for Illinois and 0 for Arizona, with one push. Well, friends, you heard it here first: Vote for Obama, because the sports in Illinois are better than in Arizona.

Except the college sports, that might change things. But it would be like 30 different schools to research and honestly it's not worth doing all that for one measly little blog post that already took a long time to put together. Oh and there's also the WNBA, but really, does that count? We don't even know if they have teams in these states. I guess there's Arena Football, too. And what about professional lacrosse or softball, or even high school sports? I guess we could say that Arizona has spring training, so that's like way more baseball than in Illinois, but then we'd maybe have to give a point to Arizona, and honestly we didn't want to do that because the whole point of this was to promote Obama....