Thursday, December 11, 2008

Graham Harrell's weekend will not consist of media events, photo ops and a boring ceremony

What was the discussion process naming the three Heisman finalists? It might have sounded like this.

Heisman Chairman #1: Whaddya think?
Heisman Chairman #2: Tebow for sure.
Heisman Chairman #3: Bradford and McCoy gotta come.
Heisman Chairman #1: Harrell?
Heisman Chairman #2: Great numbers.
Heisman Chairman #3: System quarterback, though.
Heisman Chairman #1: And it's not like he's from a media-friendly school like Notre Dame.
Heisman Chairman #2: But his numbers are out of this world.
Heisman Chairman #3: My comatose grandmother could throw for 4,000 yards in that offense.
Heisman Chairman #1: And there's also that other issue.
Heisman Chairman #2: What's that?
Heisman Chairman #1: (Rubs thumb against fingers indicating the money gesture)
Heisman Chairman #2: You cheap fuck.
Heisman Chairman #1: Flights are $400 from Lubbock. Another $200 a night for hotel. Transportation...the economy is failing right now.
Heisman Chairman #3: Don't forget food.
Heisman Chairman #2: Go fuck a goat, Herb.
Heisman Chairman #3: Harrell coming to New York would cost us at least a grand. And it's not like he'd win anyway? Bradford and McCoy were televised more often and got more pub.
Heisman Chairman #2: He's passed for 41 touchdowns and ran for six more. His completion rate is over 70 percent.
Heisman Chairman #3: (Puts a burlap sack over Chairman #2's head)
Heisman Chairman #1: So Tebow, Bradford and McCoy? We good?
Heisman Chairman #3: Yep. We're good. Make the calls.


JMC said...

it'll be funny when tebow wins the heisman but not the O'brien (best QB)

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