Monday, October 06, 2008

Big Picture Field Trip: Seattle Mist Tryouts

We told you that the new Seattle Lingerie Football team was holding tryouts Friday. Because we don't feel we give you enough masturbation material already, we went to check it out. Don't say we aren't dedicated to you, loyal readers.

It was pissing rain, but that didn't stop about 50 girls from attending the "tryout." And it was sorta like a football tryout, with real drills, cones and footballs.

Thankfully, the girls were told to wear "cute athletic wear." They did. We played a little pocket pool.

The dude running it, who apparently owns a production company, looked like he was doing this to help fuel his coke habit. The motherfucker could've written "sleeze" across his white shirt and nobody would've noticed anything different. The dude was wearing sunglasses and it was in the 50s and raining. You know how we feel about sunglasses when they aren't called for.

Of the 50 or so girls, 12 will make the team and there might be a few "alternates" if girls go down with injury, or, according to Sleezy Sunglass Bro, if the girls, "get impregnated."


The girls weren't like wildly hot, be we would've probably banged about 98% of them. A few wanna-be-strippers, a few girls who maybe played some PowderPuff in high school.

Or, like Alicia McLauchlin told Hotdog & Friends:
I was working for T-Mobile and I just quit a couple days ago because I basically hated my job a lot. This would be a much better job -- I feel like I'm more set up for something like this.
As far as the football skills go, well, it's a good thing they're getting hired for their looks. Your amputee grandfather would look like Joe Montana compared to these broads.

Since we're here for you guys, we set up a little photo gallery below. Click the images for a larger view.

There. The Seattle Mist. Welcome, ladies.

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Chris said...

Is that coach Jimmy Smits? Good to see him giving back to the community.

Bokolis said...

I've met Smitty (friend of a friend)...he's a pretty big dude. He'd have to do a lot of blow (and crack) before he gets to looking like that guy.

Once again, proof that broads will do anything for money/the camera. I didn't see any tramp stamps...WTF?!

rstiles said...

I love are "spanning the globe" for your readers...

This was some funny stuff!!!

rstiles said...

The chick in the Orange mini skirt has to make the team...she is a freakin Amazon...

Jst toss the ball to her and she will outjump any other woman...and on defense, I could see her being Lawrence Taylor like...

GMoney said...

Sleaze guy looks like a grown up Styles from Teen Wolf. Well done, TBP.

JMC said...

now that's what I call Journalism. Is there a SF team???

Bazooka Jones said...

I was curious to see if there was a DC or B-More team, and checked out the site.
When it starts, who wants to do some LFL Fantasy Football with me?

Wayne Brandywine said...

So, if you'd get with 98% of them, and there were 50 trying out, what means there was one in particular you'd toss aside?

The Big Picture said...

good math wayne...yeah, there was one who was like 45 and not hot.

LilStorm said...

The Chick with the orange skirt WAS an amazon, and a ringer at that as well, she could throw the ball like nobody's business! But it dosnt look like she made the team!

Anonymous said...

Pics are gone... Booo!