Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Skittles, in the shade of brown


I had four boners Sunday, one of which was attributed to Skittles: the popular candy has come out with a new "mix," shown above.

It's chocolate! They've made chocolate Skittles! The economy is bad, we are at war and unemployment is high. But there are still geniuses at work, creating little drops of Heaven with every bite; Land of the Free, indeed.

There are five new flavors -- S'mores, Chocolate Caramel, Brownie Batter, Chocolate Pudding and Vanilla (which is having identity issues in this bunch).

The S'mores and Chocolate Carmel flavors fucking kill. The Brownie Batter somehow tastes like a Buttered Popcorn Jelly Belly, but that's cool.

All in all, the new Skittles are pretty good, yet pretty disgusting and horribly awful. I probably wouldn't recommend them to anyone with taste buds. But still, Chocolate Skittles!!!!

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Elsewhere in the ever-growing candy industry, they've come out with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups with caramel, Mint 3 Musketeers and something called M&M's.

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Who's got their Halloween costume in order? We've seen Facebook photos of people from various Halloween parties, which seems a bit premature. But I suppose with Friday being the big day, you had last weekend and all this week to get dressed up. After Friday, you're fucked.

Some sports ideas:

-Mike Nolan
-Ty Willingham
-The Seattle Sonics (this could be done by wearing a white sheet, much like a ghost).
-Joe Maddon
-Pacman Jones

I'm leaning towards dressing up as Daniel Plainview or my own superhero, suggested by The Big Picture dad: Shower Man. (Yesterday's funny horse-racing video, which got us a nice link from Jimmy at SI's Hot Clicks, was also emailed to us by the loving, handsome, kind, generous Big Picture father.)

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We've talked before about CBS' college football coverage. It's far and away the pinnacle of CFB viewing. Great broadcasters, decent sideline reports (oxymoron?) and no fucking bullshit.

The ABC/ESPN package brings me bullshit with college football. My TV guide says, "Ohio State vs. Penn State." It does not say "Ohio State vs. Penn State served with a heaping pile of bullshit."

Was watching the Cal/UCLA game Saturday (instead of Texas/OK State -- ooh, love regional coverage) and the fucking telecast kept showing me photos of the Golden Gate Bridge, broadcasters were talking about the Grateful Dead and they were playing "Don't Stop Believing." Meanwhile, the game was pretty tense up 'til the fourth quarter.

While those things are all OK individually, I don't need to be informed that Jerry Garcia dropped acid in the Haight and that the Golden Gate Bridge is fucking beautiful. Tell me why Rick Neuheisel is going to castrate Kevin Craft with a pair of hedge clippers.

CBS -- and especially the 12:30 PDT SEC game -- has it all right. Listening to Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson while playing pocket pool to Tracy "Hungry Like The" Wolfson is very pleasurable.

Lunquist has that historic, aged voice that is perfect for an SEC showdown. And Danielson, fuck, we would let Danielson inappropriately touch our little sister if we had one.

He's so knowledgeable and cares about the sanctity of the game, you can hear him get excited and frustrated based on the level of play. He covers the best so he wants to see the best. And he conveys that in his call. Absolutely no BS, just pure passion, and, while cliché, he calls it how it is better than anyone we can think of. Brilliant.

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Joined a new gym. Big, huh?

No longer will we see our friend who can suck on his own wang, but I have found a new foe to wail on.

I've only been twice, but both times I've seen this guy and boy is he a handful.

The culprit, a late-20s something, with a buzz cut, horn-rimmed glasses and maybe a few tattoos wears a fucking basketball uniform to the gym.

The first time, he was wearing a Paul Pierce jersey and Celtics shorts. Monday? A Chris Webber Kings jersey with Sacramento shorts.

This bro belongs in a fucking N'Sync video.

If he's rocking the Kevin Durant OKC getup tomorrow, I'm going to probably drop a dumbbell on his foot.

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Jersey Boy probably eats Chocolate Skittles.

Tool.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Chocolate skittles...I saw them and tried them....BAD MOVE....they are not good!!!

rstiles said...

Gary Danielson???...he over analyzes...he gets on my fucking nerves!!!

Bokolis said...

Chocolate President, chocolate Skittles, that's probably what they were thinking...AG

Apparently, Halloween is a week long experience for some. I saw a few cats in costume last night. For me, it's the old standby; the (Burger) King. Captain Morgan (the captain, not the van like those shlubs in the ad) works, too.

GMoney said...

You should go as Eight Belles.

Are you sure that chocolate Skittles aren't just rat shit? It could be Preston's revenge against you.

Bazooka Jones said...

Choco skittles have been around for a few months... I only know because I was drunk and bought them once, then was shocked by the package in the morning.

Another sports costume idea:
Bill Belichick-- Khakis, tennis shoes, hoody with sleeves cut off, video camera, and tapes shoved in every pocket.

I on the other hand am a Space Cowboy.

Anonymous said...

How's about me you and your dad hook up for a little game of "reacharound?" I get middle!