Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Mike Nolan plagued by miscommunication

Mike Nolan and his suit were fired by the 49ers Monday. Why? An 18-37 record, mind-fuckingly dumb challenges and on-field decisions, and miscommunication. From the San Francisco Chronicle's 49ers beat writer Kevin Lynch.
If one factor could be singled out for Mike Nolan's downfall it's this - he didn't listen. The best example is the Alex Smith Debacle.

While trying to make up before the season, both said it was a miscommunication.

Even in simple exchanges with the media, it was clear Nolan hadn't listened to the question.

One last example - a reporter asked Nolan about wide receiver Josh Morgan's staph infection that caused the rookie to lose 15 pounds. Nolan said that was just Internet speculation. Then he asked the reporter where he got that information.

"Josh Morgan" was the response.
That last anecdote is funny. But there's nothing funny about a staph infection.

So what did Nolan's final meeting with owner John York sound like?

York: Hey Mike, thanks for meeting with me.

Nolan: Thanks, John. I got it from Men's Wearhouse.

York: Um. Sure. Mike, your on-field decisions and game management have been questionable lately.

Nolan: I'm not really a breakfast guy. Just had some yogurt and orange juice.

York: Mike, how would you sum up your three-plus years in San Francisco?

Nolan: Kathy says she's ready to try again, but I think four kids is plenty!

York: Jeez. We suck. Do you need a star player? A spark? Maybe we should start Young Alex again. J.T. would fumble his cock while jerkin' it at this rate.

Nolan: I just was prescribed Ambien for my night terrors.

York: Mike, the suits. The fucking suits. Why?

Nolan: Yeah, I got the Filet. Though the New York with a peppercorn crust looked good.

York: Why isn't Gore getting more touches?

Nolan: I watch Desperate Housewives with Kathy, but I can't stand Dancing with the Stars.

York: Mike, this is tough for us...you've been part of the 49ers family for over three years. But it's time this partnership ends. Mike, you're fired.

Nolan: Quarter after five.


Bokolis said...

The bird running for VP, doesn't she do the same thing? Sounds like Nolan is missing his calling.

I'm happy for Samurai Mike.

GMoney said...

I had no idea that Mike Nolan was so disinterested.

tenjay said...

fyi, kevin lynch is the 49ers' blogger on sfgate, not the beat guy for the chron. lynch used to be in the paper.

as for the niners, it can't get much worse can it? tim kawakami has an interesting look at possible new coaches.

THN said...

Nice job.

The Big Picture said...

good call tenjay. thanks for the correction. it's crumpacker now, right?