Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Fuck Florida

Fuck Florida for winning both the basketball and football National Championship in the same season.

Fuck Florida for giving two of the least memorable championship games in recent memory.

Fuck Florida for being located where it's sunny and warm, despite it being January.

Fuck Florida for having women like the one pictured with Jenn.

Bitter? Sure we are. We've dreamed of Rose Bowls and Final Fours for years and the closest we've got is heartbreak, more heartbreak and the occasional team that was far too shitty for us to get too wrapped up in.

We wont talk much about Monday's game; frankly, there's not much to talk about. Boring game. No Vince Young-like performance. Nothing that sets this aside from your average college football blowout except the big stage. Didn't even have Erin Andrews' ass to look at. (Though that may have been a conflict of interest. She's a Florida alum, remember?)

For Florida to get two major championships in the same season is just unfair. Life isn't supposed to work that way. Imagine we'd feel better if Ohio State won. Sure, the Buckeyes have had a tremendous sports year too. But aside from the sports, people in Columbus have, well, whatever it is they have in Columbus.

To be a Gator now must be awesome. Two friggin' championships, gorgeous women, good weather. Hard not to be jealous.

Kudos to the Gators, we guess. Lots of people around the Interweb are happy. We can be happy for them. That'd be the mature thing to do. Or maybe we'll try to find some hot Gator alum here in Seattle who will want to celebrate the win. Ya know, like celebrate...if you catch our drift. (Champagne can still be involved).

In other news: Bucks guard Michael Redd is out 4-6 weeks with severe depression following the BCS Championship.


Jon said...

Hey, imagine being a UCLA fan and watching your athletic teams furnish both championships for Florida. =/

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

nice point jon...florida better pull for UCLA sports from now in everything.

Anonymous said...

According to weather.com, it's about 62 degrees with a slight breeze in Gainesville right now. YOU SUCK FLORIDA.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

man, 62 degrees sounds like a sauna right now!

benny said...

Hey it's 50 degrees right now and I'm freezing my ass off!!

Anonymous said...

wow. what a couple of sluts! :)