Friday, January 19, 2007

Yep, horses do respond to Vodka. (We know you've been wondering)

In a funny horse-related story -- then again, when are horse-related stories we report not funny? -- an Omaha, Neb. veterinarian will be in court next week to face accusations he injected horses with vodka to calm their nerves.

Yeah! Whoa! Jay Stewart, our sleazy vet friend, is in trouble because "calming the nerves" of a horse prior to a race is a good thing, so him doing this is attempting to influence a race. You don't want the horse to be all wound up right before the race, otherwise Barbaro may go shatter his other leg.

We suspect that giving a horse a few rips off a bong would pretty much accomplish the same thing as the vodka, but Stewart, ever a man of honor, would certainly not intentionally break the law. Wonder if Dr. Stewart could whip up a Cosmo in a syringe. We constantly hear girls bitching that they hate the taste of alcohol.

While Stewart is being portrayed as a monster for his actions -- the guy gave a horse vodka! Curse his soul! -- if he was around for the Preakness, well, let's say Barbaro wouldn't have his own message board.

And since talking about vodka always guarantees a good time, let's play a little game in the comments section. Leave a comment with the brand of vodka that was being injected into these horses. Our guess is Hangar One. Classy shit in Omaha. Best answer gets a free injection!


Anonymous said...

Omaha is too close to Iowa for it to be anything other than Hawkeye.

Anonymous said...

You suck saying horses are bastards. They are more important than you.

Zooper Scooper said...

To Anonymous: You're an idiot. First off, horses are stupid. Even a horse would know that horses are bastards. They throw off jockeys, trample little children and ruin picnics.

Second off, if you have the balls to write something bad about this great site, you could at least put your name. I put mine.

JMC said...

definitely aristocrat. but it could be popov. or 3 star.

Anonymous said...

whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty? And, it is a former associate that said it happened?? Could it be sour grapes?

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