Friday, January 12, 2007

The Big Picture exclusive: A conversation with Barbaro

We've been trying for a while now -- phone calls, emails, personal visits -- but have been turned down on numerous occasions. Barbaro's PR people don't appear to think highly of bloggers as they've chosen not to return our calls and have avoided any forms of contact.

But persistence is a powerful tool, and after having our people contact Barbaro's people, we reached some terms, and Barbaro has agreed to sit down with us. Here's the exclusive interview...

The Big Picture: Welcome, Barbaro. Thanks so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to sit down with us.

Barbaro: It's my pleasure.

TBP: OK, Babs, gotta...

Barbaro: Please don't call me Babs.

TBP: Sorry. Barbaro. Gotta ask: how's the leg?

Barbaro: Well, it's all right. I got a little nervous the other day with them removing some damaged tissue, but I'm feeling much better now.

TBP: That's good to hear. Your doctors must be great.

Barbaro: Yeah, they've really been nice. Pretty smart too. Shit, I wouldn't know how to fix me. I'd have just cut off my fucking leg already.

TBP: Ah, modern medicine at its finest.

Barbaro: They've sedated me plenty too, which has been nice. I mean, what would've happened if my accident would have happened in like 1700? I would've been dead by now. Well, I guess I would be dead anyway if I was alive in 1700 -- I'd be like 200-years old -- but you get the point. Then again, if I was alive in 1700, people wouldn't race me for money, I wouldn't have some cracker-fuck whipping me to go faster, and I wouldn't have shattered my leg.

TBP: What do you do in your spare time?

Barbaro: Nothing too unusual. Watch movies, listen to music, hang out with friends.

I recently signed up for Netflix and just watched the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Man, that Keira Knightley is hottt!

TBP: Haha. Talk about your fans, Babs.

Barbaro: Ahem...

TBP: Barbaro. Sorry.

Barbaro: Fans. Wow, where to begin? They've been great. Really. Couldn't have got through this without them. Especially the women. You wouldn't think that attractive women would care about me, but they're some interesting ladies with some sick fetishes out there. Who'd think there would be chicks who get off watching me make out with Smarty Jones? And that was nothing compared to this one broad.

Get this, some broad asked me to pose nude in the Heisman position. I played along thinking this was weird, but like, whatever, ya know? And then things got really strange. She brought in her fucking six-year old to take the picture. Thing is, this chick wanted to be in the picture too. As the football!

TBP: Whoa.

Barbaro: I know.

TBP: Tell us what motivates you as you continue your intensive rehab.

Barbaro: That's really one of the hardest things. The days start to run together with doctor visits, bathing, physical can get pretty mundane. But I look for positives in each day. For example, last week Seabiscuit called me up. We chatted for a bit...about everything really. Racing, women, stocks. It was refreshing to hear from him.

TBP: Ugh, Seabiscuit's dead.

Barbaro: Don't trip. It's a horse thing.

TBP: Oh...We realize you have a busy schedule, with you doing Leno later tonight and all, so we'll just ask you one more question.

Barbaro: Shoot.

TBP: You would have won the Triple Crown if you stayed healthy, wouldn't you?

Barbaro: I try not to think about that. It's so frustrating. But I dunno. Bernardini's a tough competitor. I think I could take him if I'm healthy, but who knows. Winning the Crown is so tough. To be on your A game three times in such a short span...

I will tell you this though: Secretariat ain't got shit on me. I woulda whooped on him if we raced in the same period. I studied some video on him leading up to the Kentucky Derby, and he just wouldn't have stood up to me. His form is bad, the jockey was over-whipping him, and his legs look like fucking twigs. His training and endurance doesn't rival mine.

TBP: Great. Hey, thanks again for taking the time to stop by. Really appreciate it.

Barbaro: My pleasure.


uncle ken said...

I couldn't get past the part when he said if he was alive in 1700 he'd be "like 200 years old." That is one dumb horse.

Anonymous said...

"Barbaro: Please don't call me Babs."


Anonymous said...

Nice do you get such great interviews? You must have some amazing contacts.

Anonymous said...

This is great. Its cool to see different things being done by bloggers. Keep up the good work, I'm adding you to my blogroll.