What do the days of the week mean? Mon-day. Tues-day. Wednes-day. Thurs-day. Fri-day. Satur-day. Sun-day.
It would make more sense the days were called Workday, Secondworkday, Stillfuckingworkday, Theresnotenoughboozeintheworldforthisday, Almostweekendbutstillworkday, Funday and Restday.
That dotted line, which signifies a change in thought, looks like the beginning of a hangman game.
Kids probably shouldn't play hangman. It sends mixed messages about word puzzles.
How do you get a 10.0? Tear those motherfuckers down. In football they tear down the goalposts. In basketball, they just come out on the court? Bullshit. Cause some destruction.
We have to submit our absentee ballot tomorrow (Almostweekendbutstillworkday). We don't know who to vote for. (Thoughts?)
If a candidate suggested changing the name of Thursday to Theresnotenoughboozeintheworldforthisday, said candidate has our vote.
Why don't all pants come with pockets? Not talking about jeans, khakis, etc. But sweats. And athletic pants and shorts. Pockets should be mandatory.
If I went to the gym with my athletic shorts that don't have pockets, where do I put my membership card? Where does my iPod go? What if I want to play pocket pool?
Just imagine life with pockets. And a removable back pocket. That would be huge.
The ad slogan: "What if you could? Yeah. What if you could?"
Here's a neat story about the adopted son and grandson of infamous cult leader Jim Jones. We usually like Gary Smith's work more, but this piece is interesting, nonetheless.
Kool-Aid used to be good when you were like 5. Absolutely nothing about the spelling of Kool-Aid makes sense.
Though the Kool-Aid man could nail any cartoon character he wanted.
3. April O'Neil from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
4. Ariel from The Little Mermaid
5. Belle from Beauty and the Beast
If we read one more thing about Tom Brady's fucking ankle, we're going to go all Philip Rivers on someone.
The media is making the Super Bowl (as always) one of the worst weeks in sports.
Bron Bron got the ball at halfcourt, passed Go, collected $200 and hit the game-winner. Would've been much tougher had he been forced to go the length of the court.
Ever consider legally changing your name? We haven't given it nearly enough thought.
If we could, we'd go with: Bigge Cauck.
We're just three days away from Super Bowl Restday! Get excited!