Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Big Picture Categories: ESPN Analysts

King's Cup might be the best drinking game out there. Everyone has their own version, there's ample drinking and sometimes -- on a few lucky occasions -- hot chicks end up naked. One of the best "games" in King's Cup is Categories, which often is represented by the Jack card. In Categories, the person who draws the card says a category (fast food joints, baseball stadiums, etc.) and everyone must go around the circle naming one until somebody stumbles. When that person fucks up, they drink. Make sense? Good.

[Editor's note: We're running low on these, so if you have any good future Categories (preferably sports-related), leave a comment or send an email to zachls5@gmail.com]

When you start breaking down the big games, there are none better than the gargantuan crew of ESPN analysts. They range from bull riding to the law and everything in between. Most of them are pretty good, though there are those few former athletes who can't properly form a sentence or speak coherently.

Since we've been seeing plenty of ESPN "talent" on TV lately with the NFL playoffs, BCS shit and the NBA in full swing, today's category will be naming all analysts on ESPN and the ESPN family of networks. Let's keep this current, meaning everyone's favorite, Harold Reynolds, doesn't count. We'll start and you guys continue in the comments. You can go again after every five comments. First person to blow it gets to play spin the bottle with Sean Salisbury.

We'll start with one of our favorites: Kirk Herbstreit.

All right, TV fans. Spill your ESPN knowledge in the comments.

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

One of my favorite human beings, the king of pep talks, Lou Holtz.

Mark said...

The Playmaker.

Anonymous said...

Todd McShay

rstiles said...

Desmond Howard!!!!

flohtingPoint said...

Lee Corsco

Joe D said...

The Bachelor, and one of their best football analysts, Jesse Palmer

ssreporters said...

Mark, if "The Playmaker" is Michael Irvin, drink.

Long Duck Dong said...

This is stupid, douchebag.

GMoney said...

Emmitt Smiff

DC said...

Hurricane Ditka, aka the guy that stifles honest debate by acting like your crazy grandpa if he doesn't get dinner at 4:30pm sharp.

rstiles said...

Hey Long Duck Dong - GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!!!

Jalen Rose

Untitled HJ Musings Project said...

Greg Anthony

Bokolis said...

A-A-A-And Tom Jackson

flohtingPoint said...

Jaws

JMC said...

John "one nut" Kruk.

God he sucks.

Anonymous said...

Ron Jaworski

Anonymous said...

Dickie V. (yuck) (does that count?)

GMoney said...

Steve "The Retard" Phillips

Anonymous said...

Barry Melrose, mullet and all

Tony said...

Jay Bilas

tyu said...

Mel Kiper, Jr.

Bokolis said...

Roger Cossack...There have been at least two fuck ups. Can we stop now so they can tell us how Salisbury's ass tastes?

Bob said...

Marcellus Wiley

Anonymous said...

Two Idaho boys Mark Schlereth and Merril Hoge.

buttercup said...

jessie palmer.

Anonymous said...

Ric Bucher

Anonymous said...

what, no one got Peter Gammons?!?

Anonymous said...

bill walton